I have seen the future, and it is wonderful

I just asked Dino how many of his parents are coming to prom. I am fairly certain that implies that a) he is bringing his parents to prom, like this boy did his grandmother, and b) that he possibly has more than two parents. Then again, if we count his programmers as parents...

Today, Ginny went to school, but she was technically excused, so she elected to skip many of her classes. I stole her for her final pre-statistics-AP-test hour. After she ate her unidentifiable sandwich (I think it might have been egg), we went outside and sat on the grass.

Well, I sat on the grass and tried to drag her down with me. She was reluctant, as she "didn't know where the grass had been." However, by the time I was lying down, she had at least reached a low crouch.

We spent a while daydreaming about the time to come. First we tried to think of next year.

"We'll both be sitting here," I said, "in the sun, and it will be AP week, so we'll be stressed. Oh, wait, no, we'll already be into amazing schools. You'll be going- where do you want to go?"

"This would work better if we knew where we were going."

"This is true."

"What about the reunion. Do you think we'll go to the reunion?"

"Yes. How about the 75th. We'll both go."

"What'll we do there."

"Well, I'll spot you first, and your hair will be all gray. I'll try to flag you down but I'll have trouble, what with my cane and all, so I'll start yelling, Ginny, Ginny. Then you'll finally see me, and you step into the light and your hair is gray. My first response is to say 'gosh, Ginny, you don't even look Asian anymore.'

"You become very angry, call me racist, and start hitting me with your cane. I hit you back. Then we get into a wicked awesome cane fight.

"Dino comes over to break it up, and he says "guys, stop-p-p-p" and starts to shake, as his circuits have a tendency to get a bit rusty."

"Is Owen going to repair him?"

"No, Owen died off ages ago. That's why Dino is having problems- his self maintenance has issues."

"Ah."

"Anyways, Dino short circuits, so then we go back to fighting when Vicky comes trundling over, walker and all. She somehow manages to force us apart and says 'TEA! GINNY! OPMINN!'

"'What? Where? I thought she'd left.' I say.

"US History! Remember the battles! Remember the Mohicans and the women and portfolios! What a class. What. A. Class.' Vicky continues to babble, somewhat incoherently, about the wonders of US history."

Ginny laughed. "Who next?"

"Well, if Dino is there, Tybalt probably showed up."

"What about Bryant?"

"He's busy building robots and saving the world."

"Oh, of course."

"Anyways, Tybalt is there. He's working, doing something. Recently divorced- he tried to hard to have the perfect, cookie-cutter life, and it fell through. What's his job, though?"

"Something important. Presidential advisor? To Sonny, maybe, who beat out Lumiere in the race."

"Oh, naturally. Anyways, Kathrya is there as well. She and Tybalt broke up, ages ago, when she went off to college. Anyways, he's been finding life unfulfilling, and he showed up at the reunion in search of the one that got away. Kathrya, of course, has been fine without him, living it up and being awesome, as usual. She sees the cane parade by us, and comes rushing over."

"Rushing?"

"She exercised as a youth, she can still rush. Anyways, she gets rather excited to see us, and starts yelling about love and other lovely things, and then she sees Tybalt, and their eyes meet, and she immediately falls silent. And we get kind of confused, but then Tybalt comes over under the pretense of oiling Dino's joints, and, suddenly, we understand."

Ginny sighed. "What about Mario? How's he doing?"

"Mario...hmmm. He's a big businessman, somewhere, really rich. Anyways, he shows up, and we all start laughing about the whole peeing-in-a-cup beeswax. Then he tells us that we can't tell anyone, as it will ruin his reputation and destroy the stock of his company. So, we blackmail him and all get a million dollars."

"That's some fast monetary accumulation."

"That it is."

"He really ought to be thinking more about the consequences of his actions."

I laughed. "What about Gretchen?"

"I bet she's at a university."

"But which?"

"She's at MIT, and you're at Harvard."

"That's realistic. But sure. How is she doing?"

"Did she marry Phil?"

"Maybe she has a really cute baby. But with who? Mario?"

"If he isn't Asian, the kid won't be."

"Well, if the baby is half..."

"Not enough. Besides, Phil is way better."

"Yeah, but she'd never marry him."

"But-"

"Okay, fine. Two weeks ago, Phil came to perform a violin thing at Harvard, and I brought Gretchen to see him, because we're still all buddy-buddy and whatnot. Anyways, she and Phil fall madly in love and start an illicit affair. Also, now Gretchie is pregnant, and she and Phil are avoiding each other so as not to arouse suspicion."

"What about Nyx."

"She's living in Swahili, speaking Swahilian, and saving the world, one starving child at a time. She's doing great, though. That's kind of boring. No plot arc."

"Darn."

At that point, the bell rang, and we went up to my physics class. However, we resumed our discussion in the evening hours. A summary of that will come....tomorrow.

Why I Have Not Posted

I can't decide what to write.

First, I figured I'd recount the math meet. But, other than, we did math and I was awesome and beat both Irving and Bryant, there wasn't much that was particularly exceptional. My prize was a little beat-up quiz game, and is vastly superior to Argon's Chartwell's poster.

I debated sharing the prostitution joke. Namely, that, upon my telling Owen that Dino was paying me twice what I asked for for his poster, Irving's immediate response was "you must have been really good, then." Yes, I have now been a victim of a prostitution joke related to Dino. As I said to Owen and Irving, I'd really have preferred that I didn't here that.

Although, the advice to pour water on Dino's head in order to short-circuit him was sound.

Speaking of which, I don't believe he's paid me back yet. A water bottle may be in order, although I doubt Señora would approve.

Dino's response, when I told him this as we walked up the stairs, was "Do I really sound that much like a robot?"

"Well, kind of, a little bit."

"Seriously?"

"Well, yeah, you kind of do."

"Wow. I was expecting you to say 'oh, no, Dino, not at all.'"

"This from the guy who is constantly cruel in the name of honesty, Mr. I-tell-it-like-it-is."

"I am not cruel."

"You kind of are."

"Am I really?"

I looked at him.

"Fine. Name one time I've been really, truly mean."

"You called Ali stupid."

"She's was being annoying!"

"She was extremely torn up about it. She's very sensitive."

"Ali? Sensitive?" He was utterly incredulous.

"Yes, sensitive. She was almost in tears later. She's insecure about her intelligence."

"I don't really think she's stupid."

"I know that, but she doesn't."

He shook his head. We walked in silence for a moment.

"Awful couple," he said.

"Sorry, what?"

"Awkward couple."

"Who?"

"Mercle and Charlene."

"Huh?"

"They just walked by."

"I didn't notice."

"They're a weird couple."

"Agreed. I can't imagine wanting to date Mercle."

"I can't believe anyone would date Charlene."

"Maybe that's why they're together. Neither of them can get anybody else."

"Maybe."

The irony of the two of us, both perpetually single because we've never bothered to try, critiquing people who's only difference is that they actually did, remained unsaid. After all, when one is trying to make oneself feel better about one's lonely state, it is advisable to point out the many flaws of relationships.

This is similar to both Owen's and Dino's prom related attitudes. They both have given the absolute same description I did for why they didn't want to go to counties- I don't like music, it's a lot of drunk people, I can't dance, etc. I know, however, that my issues were actually rooted in "who the hell will I go with" and general insecurity about the same topic, and I have a feeling that Dino and Owen think the same thing.

Caroline actually said to me later that Owen ought to just ask someone, even her, his cousin, because he's nice enough that it's unlikely someone would turn him down. I have a feeling that Dino's luck would not be as good, although one never knows.

Dino's other reason: since he can't drive, the transportation would be awkward, and he doesn't want to humiliate himself by letting his date drive.

I think that he was just making up stuff by that point, but to each his/her own.

The other reason I have not posted is that I haven't ridden a horse at a speed faster than a walk in ages.

The Search For the Perfect Pair

Today, in Science Research, I was sitting at a computer between Mario and Julie. Julie was doing science fair stuff. I didn't want to work, so I looked over at Mario's computer. On it was written the following:

Mario: The Boss

Owen: Mr. Reliable

Irving: The Answer

Bryant and Tybalt Vaseline: The Dynamic Duo

I snorted and he looked over at me.

"Sorry for staring over your shoulder, but, The Boss? Really?"

"It's for Mrs. Macdonald. I'm trying to persuade her to keep our team intact for Moody's."

I looked over the list critically. "Do you think Tybalt and Bryant ever get sick of being referred to as one unit?"

He shrugged. "I like the names, though."

"I don't know, 'The Boss' is a bit egoistic."

"Yeah, but look at Irving. The Answer isn't really modest."

"But you're the one writing it."

"I'll send it from a fake email address so she won't know who wrote it."

"I have a feeling she'll be able to guess."

"I wonder if I can use one I already have. I used to have one for Tom Smith, and I still get phone calls about it."

I gave him a confused look.

"Well, you know those free things on the internet? I made a separate email address for them, and I always said my name was Tom Smith."

"You gave them your phone number?" I was shocked.

Wallace, who was on Mario's other side, made a garbled noise that sounded vaguely like a laugh.

"I wanted the free stuff!"

"You're not supposed to give out your phone number!"

"It's not like they knew my name. Besides, I moved across town later, and now it doesn't matter."

I shook my head and returned to reading an article for anthropology. A few minutes later he turned back to me.

"You know, I think you might be right. Dynamic Duo is a bit unfair to Bryant and Tybalt, cause they both really are smart in their own right. I think I'll do Batman and Robin instead."

This after he asked Garrett whether shape-memory polymers could be used to make a bat-cape.

"Which is Batman and which is Robin?"

He rewrote the statement to say

Bryant and Tybalt Vaseline: Batman and Robin (In no particular order)

"It still makes it seem like only one of them is useful. And people are going to assume that Tybalt is Robin, which is kind of unfair."

"True. Anyone know any more even superhero teams?"

"Superman and Superwoman," suggested Wallace.

I started cracking up. Mario searched 'dynamic duos' in google and clicked the wikipedia page. I searched superhero teams and got a list on wikipedia.

"You know, I think Mrs. Macdonald is more likely to have heard of these," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"That page is about the Korean pop group Dynamic Duo."

"Oh. Oops." He went to the same page I was on. "X-men?"

"Mystique is a girl. And there's more than two."

"Fantastic four! I wish there were only four of us, that would have been perfect."

"What about academic duos?"

"Scientists work alone."

"Watson and Crick?"

"These must be real DNA geeks, if you're calling them Watson and Crick," interjected Wallace.

"Who, Tybalt and Bryant? I guess so. They aren't really bio people, though," I said.

"Not Watson and Crick. Newton and [weird German name]? Everyone thinks they worked together, but they actually didn't."

Wallace and I looked confused.

"Maybe not. Hey, Dr. Verona, do you know of any famous pairs? Superheroes, or scientists, or something?"

"Batman and Robin."

"Where they're of equal standing," said Mario.

"No power imbalance," I added.

"What about the Alpher-Bethe-Gamow paper?"

"Alpha-beta-gamma?" I laughed.

"Look it up!" said Dr. V.

Mario searched it, and this wikipedia page showed up.

Dr. V spent about five minutes explaining the various reasons why this paper was cool. I laughed a lot, and Mario may have smiled a bit, but not a heck of a lot. When Dr. Verona left, Mario returned to google and typed something about famous pairs. He got a page with a few more on it. The fourth one down: Kirk and Spock.

I started laughing. "That's perfect! Bryant even looks like Spock."

"I can't believe it took us this long to think of that. Dr. Verona, why didn't you suggest Kirk and Spock."

"They aren't super heroes, they aren't really even a duo."

"Doesn't matter," said Mario. "It's perfect."

Math Geeks and Prom

Because, of course, we need to be thinking about prom dates already. Although I was having perfectly reasonable conversation with Ginny, Tybalt, and Gretchen, the group in the back had other ideas. Owen couldn't figure out who to ask to senior prom, so Mario suggested that he ask a junior or sophomore- if you ask down, the girl is so excited to even be going that she'll enjoy it more. Because that worked so well for Mario, who barely talked to his senior prom date (he is, by the way, actually going to Counties with Rachel. This still pisses me off. A lot. I wish I could tag along a cackle gleefully over their awkwardness, because, as it is, I'll just be stuck trying to sleep and being accosted by horrible images of what they could be getting up to. HCl, HCl, HCl). They consensus was that Irving put out an advertisement on the morning show and request applications, two recommendations needed. This started because of some brief mention that Dino was in need of a fembot, as Irving and Owen had only just noticed that Dino talks like a robot, and they seem to find this the funniest thing in the whole world.

They were laughing as much as Kathrya did this morning when she said I wanted to see Mario without any pants on and I started throwing shirts at her, and she decided that meant I was proposing marriage and crumpled to the floor, dissolved into hysterics.

I told this to Gretchen, and her response was to look at me, confused. "You want to see him without PANTS on?!" "That's not the point," I responded.

Anyways, after the math meet, I was walking towards my truck with Melissa, Tybalt and Bryant.

"So, Tea," Melissa said. "If, hypothetically, Dino asked you to prom..."

"Hmm?"

"If, hypothetically, and I'm not saying he will, it's just that I'm supposed to find him a date and I think I need to start asking early, Dino asked you to prom, would you say yes?"

"Well....." I trailed off.

Tybalt and Bryant laughed.

"I mean, I don't have any big vendetta against him or anything, and I can't see any reason to turn him down, so I'd probably end up saying yes, but...don't make me your first choice, okay?"

"Sure. It's just, you're nice, so I thought you'd say yes."

"I need to get meaner."

"It's alright, I'll start looking for sophomores. I figure if I find someone now, I can introduce them and give them time to get to know each other before hand."

"I don't want to be mean to him, it's just that, well, if we went together, we'd just end up insulting each other the whole time."

"Awwww. It'd be like a love-hate relationship!"

I snorted incredulously. "Bye!" I called and then split off to go to my truck.

I think Tybalt or Bryant said "bye" back. Melissa definitely didn't.

Miscommunication

This week at SHP, it was just Mario, Melissa and I on the train both ways. We were sitting in a three across, with me at the window (although there wasn't actually a window, so I was rather claustrophobic), then Mario in the middle, and Melissa in the aisle seat because it doesn't have a little headrest thing, but she's so short that it doesn't matter. As always, Mario still managed to take up about half the space, because he sits that stupid way guys always do, with about a foot and a half between their knees so that they can air out the junk, or something.

We were having a perfectly reasonable discussion of Irvingisms (things that Irving says frequently, a term coined by Mario, who got an English paper back saying that he lacks control of language, which is basically true, as Vicky can attest to after reading his US portfolio, but he went and talked to his teacher, who couldn't articulate quite what she meant by that, so he doesn't like the teacher, and he's decided that he's going to use his unholy amount of free time to write a book, but you and I know it probably won't be a very good book, seeing as he's not the greatest of writers, but have fun with that, Mario) when Mario broke off mid-sentence and turned to Melissa.

"Melissa," he said, patting her knee. "No matter what you hear, I want you to remember that I am your friend, and that I like and respect you, as a friend."

"What?" she said.

"Just remember that. Also, know that I sometimes like to show off around Irving."

"Mario," she said warily. "What happened with Irving?"

"Just remember what I'm telling you-"

"Mario, we're friends, right?"

"Uh, yeah."

"So if you tell me this, it won't bother me, but if I hear it from Irving..."

"Well, you'll find out on Tuesday either way, because he said he would tell you at math team unless I told you before hand."

I laughed. "It must be really bad then, if he gave you a warning period."

"Mario, you have just got to tell me now."

"It won't make a difference if you hear it now or later," he said.

"It makes a difference to me. If it's later, I won't hear."

"Don't worry, I'll tell you," said Melissa.

"Besides, you'll be in math team."

"Yeah, but I'm generally on the other side of the room."

"You sit with the people who actually work," said Mario scornfully, which is such a lie because I know he does his math packets.

"Well, I just feel like Ginny and I would be invading if we went and crashed the other side of the room."

"I wouldn't mind. It'd free me from the boy's club," said Melissa.

"Boy's club?" asked Mario, oblivious as always.

"Well, maybe you don't notice it cause you weren't really there last year, but Irving and Dino and Owen and Tybalt-"

"Did you hear Tybalt's doing different rounds this month? He's giving up on breaking into the 4-5-6 thing."

"Yeah, I know, he told me," I said. "He's probably going to take my spot."

"It'll either be yours or mine," said Mario.

"B Team is way cooler," said Melissa, who, along with Owen, rules the B(ench) team.

Mario shrugged. We sat in silence for a moment, before he said, "Alright, I'll tell you."

"Ooh!" I grinned and turned in my seat so I could observe both him and Melissa's reaction.

"Just, remember what I said before alright?" He put an arm over her shoulder. I laughed because the foreshortening of the angle made his hand look weird, but neither of them noticed. "Well, last week I sent Irving a text message that said 'Melissa and I aren't going on the train this week,' and then I realized that it sounded like, well, you know. So he said why and I said because she had a long night."

Melissa and I laughed when we realized where he was going.

"So he goes where are you, and I go where do you think? And then he tried to call and I was like, I can't talk, she's sleeping."

"And he believed you?"

"Yeah. I went into school on Monday and he was like Duuude! I'd tap that and oh my god this is our stop."

The doors had already been open for a half a minute, so we jumped up and rushed off.

"That would have been bad," I said.

"That's a bit of an understatement," said Melissa. "And he really thought we were having sex?"

"Well, I strung him along for a couple of days, and he literally had no clue I made it up."

"Are you serious? He never said anything to me," said Melissa. We started into the tunnel that goes under the tracks.

"I just can't believe he believed me."

"Maybe he just wouldn't expect you to lie," I said.

"Seriously, though. I mean, you can't just sleep around in high school. Your dad comes home in the morning and sees the car and doesn't think anything of it? Please."

We reached the other side of the tunnel. I turned to go left, Melissa began dialing on the phone which hadn't left her hand, and Mario looked around, confused. "Why am I on this side of the tracks? I'm parked over there."

"I dunno. I'll see you later," I said, and started walking.

"Wait, you drive?"

"Yeah."

"Where'd you park."

"Over there."

"There are spots on the other side."

"I know, but I drive a truck, and I don't like taking that turn."

"Oh."

Melissa waved goodbye and started walking the other way. Mario turned to leave. "Bye, Tea."

"Bye."

I was still laughing when I reached the truck.

First in the League

My math team kicked butt. I actually ended up with the lowest score on the A team, but I still got a respectable 13/18, so it's no big deal.

On the bus ride there, I got a rundown on all of the major injuries that Tybalt has incurred in his sixteen years of life. He then continued with a few of Bryant's more dramatic ones, like almost chopping his finger off on a basketball hoop when he was five. It was apparently almost deep enough to show bone, which is, really, rather gross. It makes me squirm just thinking about it, and I'm sure I made a ridiculous looking face when he told me. This then segued into a discussion on the removal of wisdom teeth, at which point I turned around and crashed Melissa's conversation instead.

Once we got there, all of the upperclassmen (plus Argon) sat at one table. Mario, however, was not content with this, and he decided to go form his own table. Irving, Owen, and Melissa, our three captains, followed him over. The rest of us were debating crashing their table when the pizza was put there. At that point, we all went running over. After we got the pizza, Dino and Bryant sat down at their table with them. Ginny, Tybalt and I were standing nearby.

"Is there any point in moving if we all follow you?" I joked, and received a rather grumpy look in return.

I'm not sure who, precisely, they were avoiding, but, the three of us returned to our table, alone. Argon had joined the other underclassmen during the deliberation, so we had ended up at the smallest table.

Tybalt took it upon himself to make expansions. "Dino!" he called.

"What?" yelled Dino.

"Come here!"

"No!"

"Come here!"

"Fine." Dino walked over and sat next to me.

Tybalt turned back around. "Bryant!"

"What?"

"Come here!"

Bryant turned back around, I assumed to gather up his stuff and come over. However, he didn't budge.

For the next forty minutes or so, I sat around with Dino, Ginny, and, surreally, only one of the twins. Tybalt insulted the way that we eat pizza; Ginny picked it into tiny pieces because of her new braces, Dino ate the crust first (freak), and I folded mine in half. Apparently, you're supposed to leave a little bit of pizza to go along with the crust.