Hatred and the Physics SAT-II

It's almost enough to make me hate physics.

You know, the whole studying for the SAT-II thing. I'm so behind; I need to get through the whole book in the next five days, because I've forgotten far, far too much. I realize that this will mean a difference of about fifty points in my score, so it's a lot of work for a minimal payoff, but I want those points, so I'm making the effort.

Speaking of physics...*obsessively checks snapgrades.* Oh, look, it's been over a week and Mubbles still has not graded our tests. Oh, how woeful I am, how much I wish to know the truth. I know it will change nothing, but I've never really been a huge fan of suspense.

Some good kinds of suspense: looking forward to RSI, looking forward to being done with my SAT-IIs, looking forward to knowing physics, looking forward to the World Science Festival next weekend. You know, nice, fun things.

I washed three cars today. Granted, it was with Dad's help, and I ended up being the hose-offer, as I was a rather pathetically slow scrubber. At some point during this, I was reminded of a prom event, which, of course, I had never really gotten around to sharing.

I rode to prom in Cormac's car, along with Cammie and Nia. We were driving along, rocking out to the Beatles, when, much to our surprise, we saw a small tree in the middle of the road. The car in front of us swerved massively into the other side of the road and then continued.

"Gosh," we said to ourselves. "That sure does look mighty dangerous."

"We could go move it."

"We should go move it."

"Let's."

"One, two, three, GO!" said Cormac, of course, and the four of us, in rather impressive synchrony, leapt from the minivan. This is particularly impressive when one considers the facts that a) the minivan has rather sticky sliding doors and b) half of our party was wearing high heels. Regardless, leapt we did, and, in quick, effective motions, we cleared the tree to the side of the road and reloaded the car before driving off to the dance.

We spent the remainder of the ride discussing how awesome the aforementioned event was.

Why I Don't Trust Prep Books

In my efforts to be an awesome test-taker, I have been taking practice tests. The spanish ones have been going decently, high 700s. The English I thought was manageable--I took the first practice in the back of the book a couple weeks ago and got low 700s, so I figured, like Spanish, I'd jump about 50 points after the first one.

So, after discovering that the McGraw-Hill book had a diagnostic exam in the front that I'd originally missed, so I took that.

I got a 590.

I'm still rather confused. My theory is that they put in a hard diagnostic test so that you read the rest of the book, look at your scores at the ones in the end and say "gosh, look how I've improved." If that is the case, it's very manipulative of the book. If it's not, and I'm suddenly experiencing an outpouring of stupidity, well, I'm going to have some severe end-of-year issues.

I'll have to take another test from the back for comparison. I am really not looking forward to this.

What I've Found Under My Desk

Because I'm cleaning, despite my possibly broken but probably just badly bruised pinky toe.

• Notes, in Spanglish, from a debate in Spanish (ex: niños have a right to choose what they see.") Written on the bottom, in Tea-ish is "why care."
• The second page of my Rockefeller application, an essay about PHD finger proteins that is covered in black scribbles.
• Practice Intel essays from October regarding my promise as a scientist, mathematician, or engineer.
• a torn piece of paper with nothing written on it
• An outline, in pencil, of the essay about PHD fingers, written on the bottom of a Nature paper.
• Fallen, the Sturken paper, printed with only every other line because the printer is running our of ink.
• All four pages of Dr. Verona's resume.
• The first page of the PHD finger article, with exactly two 'annotations.' The first is a box around Hox and a note, "hox = important." The second is a circle around "A control group of mice" and a note, "the importance of a control."
• Oh, wait, just found another page of Dr. Verona's resume. I guess it had five pages.
• The envelope that Nyx's birthday present came in.
• Introduction to Anthropology worksheet.
• First page of Spanish dialogo, with corrections.
• The schedule for the first day of school. As in, Tuesday, September 1, 2009.
• An AP math problem about a diver.
• Our entire Super Student Challenge paper.
• the first page of the Rockefeller essay with scribbles all over it
• The Rockefeller personal statement, without any scribbles.
• A middle page of the outline of my research paper.
• A piece of notepaper with "PLAN" written on the top, followed by a roman numeral I with "Batteries" next to it. The rest of the paper is blank.
• The entire contents of my Anthropology binder, minus the actual binder.
• A black sock that is actually dirty.
• Mistborn, by Brandon Sanderson.
• Two separate miniature notebooks
• Some Anthropology notes that never actually made it into the binder.
• A letter from Duke University
• A Paperclip High School Directory.
• A void railroad ticket
• 8 index cards covered in Utexas calculations
• Two bank receipts. The first says I have $1,011,01, the second says $1145.16. I'm assuming that the second is more recent.
• My $18 SAT score report that I didn't look at.

Now, time to cover the rest of the floorspace...

I would talk about the sweatpants...

but they've been talked to death. Instead, I will share the bajillion compliments about the writing on my english paper, and we can all pretend that the compliments are about us and feel happy. Because, truly, I believe that simply reading nice words can improve our self-concept. Or, well, something to that effect.

-nice use of polysyndeton

-nice us of concrete details

-so much that's conceptually interesting here

-(He was 16 (maybe? less showy anyway))

-well-put

-unneeded?

-too clichéd?

-you might play with asyndeton here

-good sentence length variation

-was

-or just "couldn't sleep"

-I'm a little confused

-good use of great litotes.

-this is great

-(is this needed?)

-same question

-I love this repetition

-great

-beautiful description

-good

-good use of polysyndeton

-good

-good

-love the evanescence

-i love this

-great

-then

-great close

Me? Self-indulgent? Never (insert shifty eyes here)

Those (shifty eyes that unfortunately break my html block) are called shifty eyes. I learned them from Andy, whose name I can't figure out how to pronounce but I suppose I'll have to learn eventually.

And, to finish this off, I'm going to add another mindbender. The dwellings one is just never going to end, unfortunately. I'm sure you're *very* disappointed.

"We turn to stories and pictures and music because they show us who and what and why we are, and what are relationship is to life and death, what is essential, and what,despite the arbitrariness of falling beams, will not burn." -Madeline L'Engle

I must say, great use of polysyndeton. Oh, yeah, it's saying we learn from art. Books help us discover who we are, what we fear, and just help us understand stuff, like, in general. Remind me to practice these intro things for the ACTs.

New Moon, by Midori Snyder, is an awesome book in which Jobber succeeds only by understanding herself. I would go into detain about the climax of the book, but I wouldn't want to spoil it, so I won't. The theme of the story is that the tools to save others already reside inside us; all that remains is to find them. This explains how we truly are and makes the art meaningful.

Stories also allow those of us still in the plane of the living to comprehend death. The Christian bible uses Jesus, the Greek myths se Hades' realm, and, weirdly, my saved version of the mindbender ends here, with the sentence "The better people are allowed to drift freely, floating like browned leaves, while the more nefarious are given painful punishments that will last an eternity."

How decidedly odd.

Me? Obsessed? Nah...

I finally turned on my phone last night to find the following:

From a texter who I still don't know who is, on Feb. 23rd: I know you don't text but ski cross is on now. i thought you should know.

From Mario, on Thursday night: I sent you an email. Did you get it?, referencing, of course, his Moody's related email.

And from another number I didn't know, but figured was Nia: Did the bus come yet?

I, in turn, sent out three text messages. To the ski crosser, I wrote "I don't know who this is from but im very sad that i didn't get this until now"

To the probable Nia I wrote: I don't know who this is but you should know that I rarely have my phone on me.

To Mario I wrote: As you now know I did get said email its just that i go to sleep at ten so you cant expect a prompt response after that. Also if u didnt see no class tomorrow.

For anyone who's interested, although I smiled way too much while typing it, I didn't agonize over my response at all. Both of them, despite the late hour (almost 11!) responded promptly.

From Nia, two minutes later: it's Nia lol

From Mario, three minutes later: I will take note of both.

Julie told me the next day that she was the ski-crosser.

The "I will take note of both" made me squee, so I immediately called Kathrya to tell her about it, because that's just the sort of person I am. It particularly helped as I was rather grumpy that class had been canceled due to snow. After all, I love SHP, and I enjoy the train rides a good bit more than I should, and I didn't see why a little snow should stop me.

I may have possibly gone to Starbucks today with the sole goal of appeasing my grumpiness over not seeing a certain somebody. However, I hadn't had a latte in two weeks, and I needed to get out of the house to study for the ACTs, as I just can't really focus when I'm in my room and my computer is about ten feet away.

I went to Barnes and Nobles to buy the ACT book first. I may have possibly checked the Barnes and Nobles Starbucks three times to make extra certain he wasn't there.

I think we all know who he is.

I turned the wrong way on Rt. 1 when leaving B&N, and took the most circuitous route ever, but did eventually arrive. I debated texting Vicky to tell her I was in Starbucks studying ACTs, cause it seemed like something she would be doing already. Lo and behold, I saw a telltale glimpse of glowingly orange hair (it actually wasn't glowing orange, it was more of a copper-y orange-red, but I just like the way glowingly orange sounds) and had a nice chat about ACTs with Vicky while her mother nodded along. Once my latte arrived, I spilled some coffee on my prep book while trying to remove the cap, and I'm fairly certain they both laughed, and Vicky made fun of my two packets of sugar.

I still contend that the presence of actual coffee in the drink makes it require more sugar. And I still don't get how a Starbuck's addict doesn't drink coffee.

I settled down at a little table in the sunlight and pulled out Beloved, by Toni Morrison, which I'm reading for A.P. English. I'm glad I wasn't at home alone in my room while reading it, because it was disturbing. Ghosts, rape, bestiality, and slavery in one chapter was a little bit more than I could handle. The bit about abusing calves still makes my insides squirm. I was about midway through the chapter when Vicky and her mother left, Vicky taking a moment to point out the fact that despite my brand new ACT book, I was not actually studying for the ACTs.

"It's for English!" I retorted as she walked out the door.

A bit after I finished the chapter one of the big comfy armchairs freed up, so I moved over there and dug into the ACT book. It was a lot of "this is worth this many points, that is worth that many points, this section tests your understanding of grammar, what is the capital of Swahili?"

I'm kidding on the last one.

I may have possibly looked up every time the door opened. Well, I definitely didn't, as I didn't notice Mario and brother (who is another always angry looking person, in case you (Ginny) were wondering) until they were in line.

Mario gave me "the nod." I nodded back. I have no clue what his brother did because, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't looking. Mario accepted one of those awful sandwiches with a patty of scrambled eggs in them and whatever sort of coffee he's drinking these days. His brother did the same and went to sit down, and Mario walked over towards me.

"So this is what you do when you aren't in class," he said.

"Oh, I hadn't had coffee in two weeks, and I just felt like..." I trailed off, and he nodded. I think it's the sort of sentiment a caffeine addict can understand. "Oh, and we actually did have class, apparently. Like, it was canceled, but it still happened, for the people who showed up, you know?"

He frowned. "I doubt they'll penalize us for not showing up, then."

"I suppose, but I still would've liked to have gone. I enjoy it," I shrugged.

"Me too. I think I like the routine of it."

"It's nice to get out."

This time he shrugged. We kept talking for a while. About the Challenge, about ACTs verses SATs, about SAT subject tests, about Moody's. Unlike Dino, he gave absolutely no indication that he thought our team was bad. He seemed confident, and excited, and felt like it would be more fun than the Green Super Student Challenge, or whatever it was called. We'd stop and pause every so often, and he'd sometimes start to step away, but I wouldn't look down and away the way I always do when I got nervous from talking- I mean I did sometimes, but, to be perfectly honest, he's a hell of a lot more riveting than my ACT book- and he'd just say something else and we'd keep going. By the time he left- I feel like it was about ten minutes, but it may have been far less or a bit more- I had a feeling that his sandwich was cold.

Good riddance. Anything involving bacon inside of bread is, in my opinion, better off not ingested.

Gretchen and Tea add Kathrya to the Conversation cont.

Tea: "odd really like Kad"

Gretchen: Good boy. He can spell. Sort of.

Kathrya: Not at all, he fails at spelling, he will fail the English part of the SATs

Gretchen: He took the ACT.

Tea: oddked kar to prom?

Gretchen: What are you responding with?

Tea: "girlfriend" he said. I said "Kathrya and Gretchen are making fun of your spelling." Now he's mad at me for showing you our conversation.

Kathrya: Oh, lordy.

Tea: How many details am I allowed to share. Probably none right?

Kathrya: Pretty much.

Tea: I told him that he can get it from Tybalt, and it's a girlfriend, and if he says anything else, I'm telling him that I'm going to talk about my period until he shuts up.

Kathrya: YES.

Tea: Genie wants to know how many Apolo Ohnos Tybalt could lift. Also, have you seen She's the Man? Because that is the BEST MOVIE EVER and there's a scene where Olivia goes into the gym, and Duke is weight lifting, and she's like "how many of me could you lift?" and he's like uh, uh, tries to count on his fingers and then slams his head into the machine. I LOVE THAT MOVIE.

SAT Scores

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

I dreamt that I went online to get them, then woke up before I could see them.

This was at 5:40.

I tried to go back to sleep.

I had a sneezing attack

I couldn't go back to sleep.

I got up, blew my nose, and tried to call the snow line.

The phone was disconnected because we are avoiding the superintendent's early morning calls.

I go on the computer to check snow days.

I type "snow de" into google before remembering the SAT, and then replace it with "college confidential" because I'm tired, followed by SAT scores.

The page loads. I click SAT scores.

Critical Reading: 800

Mathematics: 740

Writing: 770 (multiple choice 750, essay 10)

I stare at in shock, trying to decide if it's higher than a 2200, since the total isn't posted. I realize that the average is above a 750, so it must be.

I get out my TI-89 to add the thee numbers. 2310. I start squealing and waving my arms about.

I restrain myself from running upstairs and showing my parents and climb back into bed.

I get back out of bed and check facebook. No one is online. I resist the urge to brag. I hear a noise and go upstairs, thinking my parents might be up.

I return downstairs without waking them.

I discover that we have a two-hour snow delay.

I check on line again to look for my score report, with the questions I got wrong on it.

I start beating myself up for getting those one or two math problems wrong. After all, ninety-seventh percentile isn't really that good.

Decide that it's really, really stupid to get mad over that, and hope that at least one of the Vaseline brothers didn't get an CR 800, since I'm certain they both aced math.

Write blog post.

Attempt to go back to sleep.

Book Lists

Here is Crazy's list of books that would, ideally, be taught in a high school. Here are those which I have read, or will read:

-The Odyssey, unfortunately

-selections from The Canterbury Tales are next year

-so is The Scarlet Letter

-selections from Emerson, but at church, not school.

-selections from Thoreau, although I read Walden during the summer.

-Little Woman, but I read that, for myself, in elementary school

-Jane Eyre, a summer book, again.

-A Tale of Two Cities, in sophomore English

-Romeo and Juliet, Othello, and A Midsummer Night's Dream

-The Sun Also Rises, which I'm midway through. Also, Crazy wrote the following: "I like it better than A Farewell to Arms and HUGELY better than that stupid story where he chases around the fish." I agree with her whole-heartedly.

-The Great Gatsby, which I read this fall

-a short story by Woolf

I'm rather appalled that she didn't include Catcher in the Rye, which really ought to be on any list, in my opinion.

I also found a list here of thirty books everyone should read before their 30th birthday:

1. Sidartha- from what I've heard, I'll pass, although it supposedly helps on SATs.
2. 1984- I should probably read that one eventually.
3. To Kill A Mockingbird- I read it in eighth grade, and, to be honest, I think it's a bit overrated.
4. A Clockwork Orange- would have been better if Otis hadn't spoilt it.
5. For Whom the Bell Tolls- it's Hemingway, and not Old Man and Sea, so maybe I'd like it
6. War and Peace- sounds long and painful
7. The Rights of Man- is written by Paine. More or less pain than War and Peace?
8. The Social Contract- Rousseau. This is not a novel. I will not read it.
9. One Hundred Years of Solitude- anything that "does not have a plot in the traditional sense" does not seem as if it will be a great deal of fun.
10. The Origin of Species- well, that might actually be fun.
11. The Wisdom of the Desert- sounds like something my mom would read before forcing a new supplement on me.
12. The Tipping Point- Malcolm Gladwell. Can I leave it at Outliers?
13. The Wind in the Willows- never heard of it. Sounds nice, though
14. The Art of War- military strategy. blech.
15. The Lord of the Rings- I've read some. Vastly overrated, again.
16. David Copperfield- I started it and liked it, but we read it in school next year, so I didn't want to do the whold thing.
17. Four Quartets- poetry? I'll pass.
18. Catch-22- this I'd rather like to read.
19. The Great Gatsby- been there, done that.
20. The Catcher in the Rye- see #19
21. Crime and Punishment- sounds foreign and confusing. What fun!
22. The Prince- Machiavell. Will probably destroy my optimistic worldview
23. Walden- I read it. Loved it. Highly recommend it.
24. The Republic- Plato. Not a novel. "Gripping and enduring" makes it sound like bad sex.
25. Lolita- this I'd like to read.
26. Getting Things Done- self help. I'd really rather not.
27. How to Win Friends and Influence People- more self help. And it sounds snooty.
28. Lord of the Flies- I've always wanted to read that one.
29. The Grapes of Wrath- I'm sorry, but I really just don't like Steinbeck.
30. The Master and Margarita- Emily read this, our teacher hadn't heard of it, but it's apparently quite good.

Yay books! Yay reading! Now, back to Hemingway.

Standardized Acute Torture

Or something to that effect.

I'm done. Well, for now, at least, I'm done. It's rather difficult to believe. It feels as if I've passed some great milestone, as if I've crossed the line from being a girl to being a woman.

Wait, no- that was when I was twelve. Menstruation and examination are such similar words, it's difficult to keep track sometimes.

Even so, it does seem like I've gone somewhere. I've taken a meaningful step in the college process. Well, visiting Dartmouth was meaningful, all three times. And visiting Harvard was fun, even if it's downright impossible to get into. But this test, it's here to validate my ability to get into those schools. It's a rather scary thought. I mean, if I bomb this, could it make that difference? I'm not sure that it could- my GPA and everything else is high enough as it is- but you never know.

But I didn't bomb it. I can't have. I mean, I can't even remember the last test I truly bombed. We're talking about a girl who was disappointed to get a 93 on her physics midterm, for chrissake. I can do it. I probably did it. It might not be a 2400, but I'm sure it's amply sufficient.

Any more would be a superfluity.

Countdowns

Number of...

...midterms left: 2

...English essays to write during the midterm: 2

...rice crispy treats eaten during midterms week: 2

...cookies: 3

...blueberries: 726

...pills taken: 23

...minutes remaining with Mrs. Hirten: 35

...free periods thus far: 0

...free period in the rest of the year: 7

...twins in that free period: 2

...other friends discovered in free period: 0

...pages of science research paper: 12

...pages of research paper left to rewrite: 10

...colleges visited: 3

...visited colleges in Forbe's top 15: 2

...top 127:3

...times I have looked up RSI on college confidential: 612

...times I have worked on my Rockefeller application: 0

...practice SAT tests taken: 2

...days until SAT: 4

...people I owe clothing to: 1

...friends in the hospital: 1

...minutes on phone with Avon: 102

...percentage of that time in which Avon talked: 11

The Pain of Grammatical Errors

How does anyone expect to be taken seriously in life if they can't even bother to properly punctuate an important class assignment? I attend one of the best high schools in the country, but these kids seem to be barely literate. I'm reading briefs for cases, and I have to stop myself from cringing.

Examples are below, my comments in italics:

• Is The Washington State mitigating factors law a violation of the Eight Amendment's Ban on "Cruel and Unusual Punishment"?

Because Everything must Sometimes be Capitalized, and punctuation goes Outside the Parentheses.

• He went into the School Library and opened fire on the students, causing 4 students to dies and 5 to be brutally injured.

Spell out integers under ten. Since when is a school library a proper noun? Has your English teacher taught you nothing?

• The Court found that he had bipolar disease but was sentenced to death due to the brutality of the crime under Washington State Law.

Murder is only brutal under Washington State Law- it is soft and fluffy in North Dakota. Bipolar disorder is no longer a disorder; it is now a disease. Don't get to close- you might catch it!

• The ruling of the Washington State Supreme Court was incorrect because the

Yes, let's all not finish our own damn thesis statements, what a phenomenal idea!

• In Ten similar Case of Eddings vs. Oklahoma, Eddings was convicted of murder, he was then interviewed by a team of psychiatrists and was proven to have an unstable behavior, he was exempt from the Death penalty due to prior cases like Lockett v. Ohio through individualized consideration of mitigating factors required by the Constitution.

This is a boy who will not pass is SATs, he will never write a word after high school, his college professors will bang their heads against their desks due to the absurd grammar of his general writings.

• Although People who are 18 years old aren't considered to be a minor, this could've also been a factor within this case because the Teen's mind hasn't fully developed.

I want to stop skewering Stanley here, but it just keeps getting worse and worse. In fact, I'm just not going to read the rest. Moving along...

• No 09-_______

Is it really that difficult to fill out the form?

• Is the Washington State mitigating factors law a violation of the Eighth Amendment's ban on "cruel and unusual punishment."

Weirdly, Word auto-corrects this to a question mark outside of the parentheses. Has my grammatical education steered me down the wrong path?

Election Day

Oh, what a beautiful morning, to be at home, sleeping in, relaxing the staff-development day away.

Well, kind of. I started my day by taking an entire SAT practice test, after all. Well, minus the essay. And I cut all of the sections short because I still had time to spare checking over my work, so it wasn't the full mind-numbing three hours. And I kind of skipped the essay section because Mom made me leave in the middle of it to go fold laundry, and I wasn't sure how much time I should get after that.

Even so, I was over seven hundred on all the sections (unless I got under a 5/12 on the writing, which seems unlikely). These tests must be easier than the actual thing, right? I mean, how the hell can I have a baseline test over 2200? It just doesn't make sense. I mean, I knew I tested well, but I hadn't realized that it was quite that well.

I suppose I'm just going to have to inflate my ego a bit more. Does anyone have a bicycle pump with a nozzle that would fit in my ear? I think my head needs to get a bit bigger.

Day in Twenty Small Steps

1) Woke up

2) Got dressed, remembering to close door in case visitors were awake

3) Had cereal for breakfast, just like I do every other day of the year

4) Drove to high school for PSAT/NMSQTs

5) Parked a mile away from the building because I was afraid that staff parking still gets ticketed on Saturdays

6) Went to testing room with Nyx, Kathrya, Gretchen, Julie, and others, and spent an hour filling out the identification form

7) Freaked out about not having a non-mechanical pencil

8) Took test using mechanical pencil anyways

9) Finished twenty minutes early, got proctor's attention, and told him that he was planning on giving us 35 minutes for a 25 minute section

10) Watched the people in speedier classrooms leave through window in doorway

11) Lunch with Nyx

12) Watched first TV show in two weeks, the episode of America's Next Top Model from the week before last

13) Piano lesson

14) Babysat neighbors

15) Called mother and asked her to bring me fuzzy socks because mine got wet and my feet were cold

16) Was mildly disappointed that the hot older brother of said neighbors didn't call again

17) Did math packets until I was too cold and tired to continue

18) Watched Legally Blonde to distract myself from the cold

19) Convinced father of neighbors to only walk me to the end of his driveway, thus ending the awkward conversations during the walk to my house

20) Wrote blog post

Sighting

Now that OFM is over, I am going to have to continuously struggle to prevent myself from simply using this blog as a medium to record Mario sightings and the various short, pointless conversations that ensue.

In fabulous news, I made pit orchestra for Guys and Dolls! I'm so excited. I'm sharing the piano part with Harry (I'd apparently nicknamed him already. Who knew?). I'll have to talk with him to decide who gets to play what. Getting him to talk should be interesting to say the least. He isn't exactly gregarious. The whole "I'm now going to have to talk to this guy I don't know" situation reminds me of last year, when I first started taking the train with Mario and was regularly freaking out over how awkward it was.

Also, I've begun studying SAT words. My word for today is disparage, which means belittle. For instance, after hearing that Rachel was going to the dance with Mario, I made many disparaging comments about her, trying to make her seem less important.

My funny story is actually from a few days ago. Actually, I lied, it was only yesterday. I was walking with Avon and someone else (I think it was Red, but that doesn't really make sense, since she isn't in Spanish, so it may have actually been someone else, but I really think that it wasn't Julie or Gretchen, and I'm not sure who else I would have been walking with, since it was definitely a girl) after Spanish. We were headed towards the bridge. I had my weird Mario-is-nearby sensor go off a little bit, but I assumed it was a false positive (considering the fact that it hasn't been wrong yet, I should probably stop doing that). Then I realized that I had a physics test next period and was walking in the wrong direction. I did a 180 and headed back towards the stairs and lo and behold, Mario was actually behind me. We both said hi, I passed him, and then about a millisecond later, I ran head on into a senior girl who gave me a very dirty look.

Book Sale!

At the library book sale, I bought the following:

Kiss Me, Annabel, by Eloisa James - total bodice ripper, one of those ones where you can open up the first flap of the cover and see semi-clothed kissing people. I'm looking forward to it immensely.

Bridget Jones's Diary, by Helen Fielding. I read so many references to it, I think I should read it.

Ophelia Speaks, by Sara Shandler. It's something of an extension to Reviving Ophelia, so I thought I'd give it a go. Plus, it was only a dollar.

The Queen of Second Place, by Laura Peyton Roberts. The first line on the back is "You know what four words a girl never wants to hear a guy say? You're a great friend."

The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien. It's was 50 cents, and I read so much fantasy that is derivative of LOTR, I thought I should read it.

The Mozart Season, by Virginia Euwer Wolff. It looked pretty. I like music. Perfect match.

Dreamcatcher, by Stephen King. If this is the one Stephen King book that Otis ruined the ending of (and I don't remember which it is) I swear to god, I will steal all his books and cut out the endings.

A Woman of Substance, by Barbara Taylor Bradford, which my Mom said I should read.

Then I went to Barnes and Noble and bought an SAT prep book. I wanted to get Barron's again, since I had thought that they were good for the SAT-II. So, Mom and I went into the store and asked for SAT books. We were shown a shelf that was literally covered in books about APs, SATs, and SAT-IIs. I found the Barron's one, and they had three books: one for the PSATs, one for the SATs, and one thinner book entitled SAT 2400, Aiming for the Perfect Score. The normal one was bigger but cost the same amount, so I wanted to get that one, but Mom was like, no, you've already had exposure, get the good one, so we did.

It is by far the most pretentious thing I have ever read. It contains such helpful sentences as "A word list a day keeps the average scores away!" and goes on about how by getting higher than a 700 on all three parts, you're in the top 5% of test takers, and this book helps, and on and on and on. I feel like they're trying to capitalize on the intellectual insecurities of readers. I think the authors are figuring that the only people who buy this book are really thinking about all that. It makes me feel rather silly, to be honest. I mean, yes, I would like to do well, but I'd rather be able to study without being constantly reminded of the pressure, thank you very much. And, aside from that, I was under the impression that the '2400 hundred club,' as the book calls it, was made of people who actually got a 2400, not just those over 700 on all three parts. I'll still use the book, though, regardless of how silly it makes me feel.

Moooovie

The Sturken encounter was fine. We actually ended up talking for a couple of hours, but it was just as friendly people, with nothing of the something of before. The Harry Potter movie was fabulous. It completely destroyed the book, but it was horrifically exciting. Julie spent a lot of time saying "it didn't happen like that!" and Gretchen and I clutched each other at the very predictable sudden zombie appearance. It was fun.

In other news, I'm going to blatantly steal another portion of Nyx's life. Can I help it if she's doing more interesting things than I am? After all, no one really wants to read about Sturken and I complaining about are siblings and noting his anger issues. Actually, I'll tell you anyways. He hit his sister's arm a few weeks ago because he was just so mad at her, and he needed somewhere for the violence to go, and I said that I'd never experienced that sort of violent impulse, and his response was that he did kind of have some anger issues, but "I'm not a psychopath! really!" My response was, "if you were, I think I'd have noticed by now."

He agrees with Nyx that our hometown is stifling. "London's really opened my mind," he said. "Not that your mind isn't open. You seem really, uh, universalist." I laughed. "It's just, for me, I was really close-minded before I left. Kind of a jerk, really." He still used gay as an insult once during the evening, so he must have been truly awful before. I told him about the boob bead (minus the boob part) and he thought it was kind of awesome in a rather gross way, but recommended that I not tell Mario. We gossiped some, and he agreed that Johannes is really rather odd. We mostly just talked, on and on and on, for literally hours, while he played some racing game on our gamecube and I hid in the basement from my sisters, who were playing fashion show. He showed himself as perpetually more flawed as the time wore on. At first, he made fun of me for being on the math team. Then, later, we talked about SAT-IIs, and he mentioned that he'd actually been on it in middle school. It's nice that he takes the IQ thing for granted. He willingly admitted that I was a bit smarter than he was, but it didn't seem to bother him, it just was. I think that since we've known each other so long, we take the things that would normally make us inaccessible (my nerdiness and his excessive athleticism (he can do A LOT of push-ups. It's scary)) as just part of who we are.

It's odd, really, how different it was from the last time I saw him. I still like him, obviously, but it's lost all of the physical attraction that there was. I think I've finally managed to file him under extended family. He's just another one of the endless string of odd cousins. Shelby, on the other hand, just can't get used to it. When she was eight, during my nightmare trip, she informed the family that "I want to hit him, but I don't know why," and proceeded to attack him. Yesterday, while we were standing around in the yard, she just spontaneously bit him. It was entirely bizarre. He was shocked at first, but when we talked it over later, he seemed to be over it. "It's funny, really, you and Shelby," he said.

I sighed. "Yeah, I just can never understand her. Genie I get, but Shelby's just completely alien."

"Well, you're really polar opposites. You're a complete introvert, and she's more extroverted. She's entirely impulsive, and you think before you act. And then Genie's somewhere in the middle."

Poor Genie, always somewhere in the middle. If I didn't love her to pieces anyways, I'd feel bad.

Oh, he remembered me talking about Gretchen two years ago, and continues to deliberately mispronounce her name, and he even talked about Nyx's biking accident. He said everyone thought she was going to die, which is, really, kind of awful.

Speaking of Nyx, she's gone and had another accidental date. The boys seem to be falling all over each other to get to her =). Direct quote below.

OH CRAP.

if my head were ANY denser, my brain would be a ShamWOW towel.

that is my analogy for last night. yay for un-dating!

i went to see harry potter with this guy. i've thought of him as like an older brother before, so i didn't think it was that weird. even when we saw the preview for twilight, in which bella says to edward, "it's my birthday, kiss me" and he leaned over and said, "it's my birthday..." i thought he was joking. i mean, he didn't protest when i paid for my own ticket.

after the movie we went to longshore because i had never seen it at night before. we sat on one of the catamarans and talked for a really long time. finally my mom's friend called and asked where i was, and i said i'd be home soon. Yamaha pulled me closer on the catamaran, but still i was just thinking, "this can still be friendly, right?" finally i said we should go, and he leaned over towards me.....dialogue to follow in next post.

Later...

what are you doing?
What do you mean, what do you think I'm doing?
Don't do it!
Why not?
Dude, really....
What?
It's just....you're twenty-two!
So what if I am?
You're six years older than me! Doesn't that mean anything to you?
No. It doesn't.
Why not?
Why should it? Ulysses and Cleo are about the same distance apart.
Seriously! I'm sixteen!!
I know.
Doesn't that bother you?
No.
Why not? Why doesn't it bother you?
What do you mean, why?
Why....am I your favorite dispatcher? (reference to earlier at work) Why me?
Well, I've really enjoyed this conversation we've been having....(lists random reasons that don't mean anything)....and i'm attracted to you.
That's it? You're attracted to me? That's silly.
No it's not. That's what it's about!
Seriously. You're ridiculous.
Are you lecturing your elder?
You need lecturing.
Come on, are you afraid?
No. I'm just not interested. I don't think of you that way, I think of you like a brother.
Then why are you sitting here with me...like this?
I would sit with my brother like this!! Well...not like this, precisely....(indicating closeness of faces)
This conversation went on for some time, but i didn't give in. Finally i sat up and turned to him, saying:
Wait. is this gonna be awkward tomorrow? Because if it's awkward I'll punch you.
I'd rather you didn't punch me.
So don't make it awkward.

later on, walking back to the car.

Okay wait. This is ALREADY awkward. Stop it. You need to learn how to not be awkward!
And you need to learn how to not be afraid.
Do not. I'm not afraid of anything.
Yeah you are. You totally wanted to kiss me back there.
I did not. You wish.
Uh-huh.
You're being preposterous.
Yeah, okay Nyx....

fortunately after that we got back to normal conversation.

REPORT CARD (for real this time)

I am in a fantabulously good mood at the moment. First the SAT, and now this.

I just got an A+ in U.S. History Honors. I am so excited right now, it's kind of unhealthy. I just worked ridonkulously hard on that portfolio, it's tough not to get excited about it.

And I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. See you soon!

Vacation Thus Far

I was walking into the restaurant with my Uncle. He asked me if I like school, and I said that I did smiling.
"You know, you're really blossoming."
"Blossomed?" I responded incredulously.
"Yes, blossomed. Expanded. Opened up. Gotten happier."
I grinned. "I suppose." It was nice to know that the increased confidence I felt was also showing.
"You know, you must have a boyfriend hidden away somewhere."
"What?"
"Usually when someone seems this happy, it's because they've got a guy."
"Ha. No."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
"Really?"
"The only boys I have right now are imaginary."
He laughed, and we arrived at the restaurant.

The next day, I told my Aunt that I like Mario. When I mentioned that I was going to aske him if anyone got into the program, she started brainstorming ideas for me. They ran the gamut from "Hi, Mario. Did you hear who got into the program? How about a movie next weekend?" to "Hey, do you know who got in? Are they as cute as you?"

In other news, I got an 800 on the math SAT-II. My extended family (all 17 of them) has now toasted to me 3 times. My cousin (the one who played pro baseball for a year) said that my 800 was probably more than his girlfriend and his brother's SAT scores combined. My SAT scores from when I was 12 are also higher than his girlfriends. To be completely honest, I feel a bit guilty for testing so well. What right do I have to get such high scores. I'm hardly working significantly harder than everyone else.

I'll be back online in a few days.
Byeeeee

New Color Scheme

I like it, at the moment. I think it's a bit more eye catching.

I just tried to wipe an apostrophe off of my screen using my sleeve. Needless to say, I was unsuccessful.

The S.A.T. this morning was easy, but that's all I'm legally allowed to say, since I copied that silly paragraph in cursive. Avon was in my testing room, but I haven't seen her since. She will be pleased to know that she took more practice tests than Bryant (the smart twin whose first name contains none of the letters in Bryant), who took 8. I was sitting next to Dino, as always. It's the last name proximity, I guess. Fortunately, he's not a loud test taker. Otherwise, I probably would have done poorly on my Saturday Science admissions test, my CAPT tests, and, now, the SAT. He's the only person I've discussed the test with thus far, and he said the same thing I did. I did hear him talking to Jeremy afterwards, though, and Jeremy said he didn't even finish. Ha. I'm hoping that means he won't get into the Saturday Science next year (not that I would ever ill-wish anybody....*shifty eyes*)

Also, I just read Evil Genius, by Catherine Jinks, which I positively loved. Cadel, the boy genius in question, is a wonderful character. I kept expecting him to be a caricature of an overly smart teenage boy, but he really rounded out in the second half of the novel. The whole thing was very funny, as well. I love the fake schedule in the front and back. For instance, Cultural Appreciation is struck through, with "Forgery" scribbled above, and the teacher named "Art East." How fabulously punny. There are also a few subtle (hopefully intentional) Harry Potter references, which also made me smile.

All in all, a good day.

In addition: this is my This I Believe statement, and the introduction to my portfolio.

I wrote a This I Believe essay once before, back, so very long ago, when I was fourteen. “I believe in questions,” I wrote. “I once dreamed of being omniscient, but as I’ve grown and learned, everything seems further away. For every answer I find, a thousand more questions appear in my mind. There are also times when I don’t want the answer, when I would prefer to continue my life oblivious to the suffering around me. I like to have questions, gaps in my understanding, that, although I will never fill them, will forever provide me with a sense of comfortable emptiness.”

I’ve grown since then, far more than I would have thought was possible in a mere two years. When I first started high school, I loved questioning for the sake of questioning. Now, however, I prefer answers. A large part of this originates in my expanding understanding of science. Where I once saw questions, huge blanks in my understanding, I’m beginning to find answers. While these answers still inspire more questions- knowing that zinc finger proteins help stem cells resist viruses sends me on to how they work, why they evolved, and how they could be improved- these questions are merely another step in my path towards answers. I have a habit of doing in math class whatever the teacher has just informed me is impossible to do. Even though I can never answer everything, I can’t say that questions are better and stop trying. I have to look for answers, in school and in life. So now, I believe in answers.

In U.S., I started the year believing what I read. Then, we were taught to doubt it all, searching for bias. However, even though I can’t trust everything I read, I still need to use what I have to search for the truth, piecing together the answers I so badly desire. I can do this by reflecting, thinking, and looking inward. I also search for answers in science and math, trying to learn about how the world works, why things function, how all the little cogs within me fit together to make a living, breathing human being. In this portfolio, I’ll be using what I’ve learned from my science classes this year to explain what I’ve learned about myself in U.S. History.

Enjoy.

Tomorrow

10 hours until SAT. I'm going to go to bed now.

But, just to keep you from getting bored....

I discovered my final planning from Western last year. I'm pretty sure that we got to pick our own topics, because I wrote about the effect of the French Revolution on the Catholic church, and I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one who would actually care.

Basically, before, it was the official state religion, just like the Robin is the official state bird of our Connecticut. After, it was more like the Robin was a really well liked bird, but without the official stamp of approval, and if it were to chirp at us, we wouldn't be obliged to listen.

The Declaration of the Rights of Man, which is like the Declaration of Independence, but with a less catchy title and even more sexist phrasing, espoused religious freedom. The Civil Constitution of the Clergy said nice things about tolerance, originating the CCC, the primary rival of the slightly less tolerant KKK. This constitution reassigned bishops. I believe that this is a process similar to castling in a chess match.

Then, came the National convention and the reign of terror, which basically took the Catholic church to the guillotine, as well as making a ten day week and confusing the crap out of all the workers, who were especially disgruntled about having a seven day work week. The high level of church bashing, coupled with the severe difficulty involved in actually locating a Sunday in the new calendar, diminished church membership greatly.

Then, Napoleon put all the little pieces back together, like all the kings horses and all the king's men, only more successful.