A Person In Class Is Embarrassed (and it isn't me)

Although I did manage to spill coffee all over one of the desks, I cleaned it up and nobody really cared. Other transgressions from the social norms, however, are more noticeable.

My cytoskeleton teacher gives lectures using powerpoints. To keep us from having to copy everything down (not that we by any means have to, seeing as the class isn't graded), she emails the presentations to us after she gives them. Some people, however, are too unobservant to realize this.

Last class, the boy sitting next to me, whose name I unfortunately don't know, spent the first forty minutes taking furious notes, copying down every word and diagram on the slides. I, on the other hand, was keeping track of the funny things the teacher said (i.e. haha, the MAN protein looks like a --you can guess). After explaining a particularly word-filled slide, our lecturer paused and asked, "can I go on?"

Most of the class nodded and muttered our assent, but this one boy emitted a rather sharp "no!" and continued his rapid scribbling.

"You know that I'll be emailing you this, right? There's no need to copy everything down."

The boy seemed to go into shock. "What!?" he roared, tearing an inked page out of his notebook and jumping from his seat.

"Um..." responded the teacher.

"I don't believe it!" He crumpled the paper into a lumpy ball and attempted to storm over to the trash can and throw it out. Unfortunately for him, he tripped over my feet in the process.

Sighting

Now that OFM is over, I am going to have to continuously struggle to prevent myself from simply using this blog as a medium to record Mario sightings and the various short, pointless conversations that ensue.

In fabulous news, I made pit orchestra for Guys and Dolls! I'm so excited. I'm sharing the piano part with Harry (I'd apparently nicknamed him already. Who knew?). I'll have to talk with him to decide who gets to play what. Getting him to talk should be interesting to say the least. He isn't exactly gregarious. The whole "I'm now going to have to talk to this guy I don't know" situation reminds me of last year, when I first started taking the train with Mario and was regularly freaking out over how awkward it was.

Also, I've begun studying SAT words. My word for today is disparage, which means belittle. For instance, after hearing that Rachel was going to the dance with Mario, I made many disparaging comments about her, trying to make her seem less important.

My funny story is actually from a few days ago. Actually, I lied, it was only yesterday. I was walking with Avon and someone else (I think it was Red, but that doesn't really make sense, since she isn't in Spanish, so it may have actually been someone else, but I really think that it wasn't Julie or Gretchen, and I'm not sure who else I would have been walking with, since it was definitely a girl) after Spanish. We were headed towards the bridge. I had my weird Mario-is-nearby sensor go off a little bit, but I assumed it was a false positive (considering the fact that it hasn't been wrong yet, I should probably stop doing that). Then I realized that I had a physics test next period and was walking in the wrong direction. I did a 180 and headed back towards the stairs and lo and behold, Mario was actually behind me. We both said hi, I passed him, and then about a millisecond later, I ran head on into a senior girl who gave me a very dirty look.

Conclusions

Conclusions are my least favorite part of writing a paper. However, it doesn't mean I can't draw them over the whole Mario/Rachel incident, because continuing at this stress level would be detrimental to my health. I'd be like one of those type A people I generally try to hold myself back from becoming.

Anyways, I think Nyx put it best."it doesn't really matter whether she goes with him to counties or not. first off, you said you weren't even sure if you wanted to go anyway, and second, counties certainly does not define a relationship. you will have plenty of opportunities for mario-time in the future. so he's tied up for one day. there's heck of a lot of other days!"

Because really, when it comes down to it, the idea of large school dances freaks me out. That many people, and all the loud noise, and the sheer awkwardness of dancing in front of people I actually know... I mean, really, I should be glad that he's going with Rachel, because if I was going with him, I would be freaking the fuck out for an even longer period of time and at an even worse frequency than I am now, and really, at least he won't start dating her. At least, I hope not, because the mental image of that makes me want to retch. And cry. And then curl into a sad, lonely ball and surround myself with nice, comfortable pillows.

Plus, this way I can freely participate in anti-counties activities without beating myself up over being too chicken to ask Mario. For instance, spending an evening in my basement and playing stupid video games and talking about all the shit people in our grade are getting into at the time sounds like a lot of fun.

Please note that this doesn't mean that I don't want to hear any and all further developments on Mario's life (romantic or otherwise). After all, the crush isn't going anywhere, I'm just going to stop thinking about the crush in terms of some silly, pointless school dance. I will become one of those girls who lifts her nose and scorns those who go batshit crazy over the goddamned things.

The Mummy

which I just watched, is a very good movie. Bit scary, though. I'm clearly not cut out for the horror genre. I was rather fond of Evie, though. It's always nice to see one of those action movies where the damsel in distress actually makes an effort.

Now, to go off on a tangent, I've recently noticed that boys grapple with their own insecurities. While we worry over Counties, they have their own fear.

Phil: So, last month I started doing EMT stuff, (I think he said EMT stuff, but it might have been something else, since EMT has absolutely no relevance to the rest of the conversation, although he does have a tendency to bring it up all the freeking time)

Richard: Uh-huh.

Phil: and anyways, the first day I go in, there's this big guy.

Richard: big?

Phil: Yeah, you know, like, big (he spread his arms in a wide gesture indicating weight)

Richard: Okay.

Phil: And he's like, I can lift you. I can lift more than you- two hundred pounds.

Richard: Wow. That's a lot.

Phil: I know, right? And then he's like, oh, how much can you lift, and I'm like twenty (as he said twenty, his voice went all squeaky and high)

Richard: Haha. That's why I hate fitness center.

Phil: Yeah, I can't lift, like, anything. It's so embarrassing.

First Day

Link: Dora, check it.

Guess what, everybody- I survived. I am totally and completely intact. My dentist even said that my tooth is totally fine, and Mom and I were overreacting. I just spelled overreacting wrong, but spell check caught it and fixed it.

I've been infected with the blushing disease, which is, to say the least, highly annoying. Mere days after I decided that I don't really like Mario as much as I did last year, I start turning beet red when talking with him, about him, or when Vicky endlessly teases me about him. To make matters worse, he's in two of my classes this year (health and science research), so he might even notice! AAAAAAAaAaaahhhhh! I'm so embarrassed, I'm just going to start blushing more. This blushing reflex is very, very annoying, and Julie tells me that absolutely nothing I do is going to make it go away, which is highly annoying.

All of my classes today were fine except for English. I was the first one in class, so I picked my seat and sat down. Unfortunately, both the seats next to me remained empty. I swear, guys, I don't bite and I don't cheat. Also, the class size was really small, and Ms. Seltzia even remarked on it. When I told her that Gretchen couldn't get in the class, she seemed really put out, and wanted to know, specifically, who wouldn't let her into the class. Gretch, if you're still interested in switching (and I don't know if you will be), talk to her. She might be willing to pull a bit of leverage to get you in. Failing that, continue to pester the guidance counselor for the remainder of the drop period. If anyone drops out, I'll tell you, and you can go to her armed with that bit of information. Just, if I have to spend all year there, I think I'll cry. It's oh so very lonely. I was in such a good mood all day, and then, after that, it was just gone, poof, just like that.

It was quite tragic.

Whoopsies

First brush with accidental lack of clothing around the landscape guys.

I had gone swimming earlier, then taken a shower, then a settled down on my bed, comfortably wrapped up in a towel, and began rereading Harry Potter. I was there for quite some time before I heard some noise behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Kerry, who was approaching rapidly. I jumped up and raced into the bathroom, where the shade was still down. I put on a long sweater that was in there, came back out, got clothes, went back to the bathroom, got dressed, and then sat on my bed and resumed reading Harry Potter. While I am aware that this could be easily avoided if I didn't run around in a towel with the shades down, the lighting is much better that way, and the only thing visible out the window is some bushes and the sound.

Also: Hahahahaha

More Books (and a little embarrassment)

I think that embarrassment should be spelled embareassment, because having a bare ass would be embarrassing.

This morning, Mom had Kerry and his landscaping buddy over. I talked to Kerry for a couple of minutes, but there were these little gnats flying at my face, and I started panicking about being afraid of bugs and pretty much ran away. It was awful.

On the upside, I did manage to finish two books today. First, I wrapped up Ender in Exile, by Orson Scott Card. It was just as fun and exciting as everything else Card has written, so no surprises there. Then, this afternoon, I read To Catch a Duke, by Eloisa James, and it was every bit as enjoyably awful as it sounds. I have a large portion of my heart that will be forever devoted to godawful regency romances. This one was as wonderful as always, with lots of romantic confusion, horribly exciting arguments, witty dialogue, and gratuitous sex (there's a reason I used to have to sneak them past my mother).

Anyways, all in all, it was a good day.

Guess what!

What?

I'm still working on my End of Quarter Rubric and Portfolio!

No way!

Way!

I guess that means I won't be getting an eloquently written sliver of the divinity that is Tea's illustrious, fascinating mind.

Nope!

Darn.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I suppose you'll have to get over it ;)

I did, however, reference this blog in my Portfolio. I wrote the following paragraph as my entry slip for Mrs. Opmin:

Yes, I have a blog, no, I will not tell you where it is, yes, I have readers (three of them! (Vicky, Gretchen, and Nyx)), and no, I divulge absolutely no incriminating personal information, so it's perfectly safe. This evidence includes two posts, one from March 4th, and one from April 22nd. I realize that you could quite easily find said blog by googling, but I'd rather if you didn't (although Vicky wanted me to tell you that she came up with your nickname which is Mrs. Opmin, which is short for Oppressed Minorities, all by herself). I chose to include sections of my blog in this because it demonstrates that I think about the issues we discuss outside of class, and that I've taken a somewhat more active interest. Having the blog has changed the way I think, to a certain extant. I remember conversations better, in case I have to later reproduce them. I also look at current events and newspaper articles from a perspective of "do I have anything to say to this? what?", even though I don't always end up writing anything. The first post shows my changing perspectives of advertising, further emphasizing the same points I made in my second quarter EoQR.

Yes, I think Mrs. Opmin will be thoroughly entertained.

.................

Oh, and I saw Mario TWICE today! Big news, no? The first time was after gym. I was walking with Kathrya, and he was going the other direction and staring intently at the ground a few feet in front of him. As we walked past, despite the lack of eye contact, I said, "hi, Mario."

He looked intently a few feet higher up, as if he may have possibly heard something, but decided that he hadn't and resumed staring intently at the ground approximately three feet in front of him.

"Is deaf...." I finished.

Kathrya looked at me and laughed.

"That was rather awkward," I said.

"I know! I hate it when you say hi to people and they don't hear you."

"Yeah, it's like, one time, I was walking down the hallway, and Dr. SeaUrchin was a little bit in front of me, and Julie was about 6 feet in front of me, and I yelled 'Hi, Julie!' but she didn't hear me, and Dr. SeaUrchin laughed."

Kathrya laughed, too. It's good to see that I get good milage out of my embarrassment.

Science Symposium

Well, the science symposium left me feeling like a socially stunted retard. I blame the fact that many of the other sophomores are not true science geeks, so I find them somewhat unrelatable. Also, both Julie and Mario weren't in attendance, which was highly unfortunate.

At one point, I was standing awkwardly by myself, looking at someone's poster, when Kerry comes over and is like, "Tea, want to see a totally awesome poster?" and I'm like, "Well, it beats standing around by myself. Not that I have no friends, it's just that Julie isn't here, and Minnie has better people to talk to, I guess." Well, that doesn't sound remotely pathetic. "Great!" "Whose poster?" "Lysander's."

So, Kerry leads me over to Lysander's poster. He starts talking about his project, which is actually even more boring than standing by myself, and Kerry immediately runs away, probably bored out of his mind. Lysander's poster was something about how cellphones affect driving, and it was boring enough that I would have rather listened to Mario talk about economics and stocks. It was actually boring enough that I would have rather listened to someone else talk about Mario's project on economics and the stock market, which is saying something. So, Lysander is talking to me, and his eyes aren't leaving my face AT ALL while he was talking, and I keep wanting to look at the poster instead, but he keeps looking at me, and I try to look away, but then I feel weird, because he's still looking at me and talking, and then I basically start internally panicking, because I'm not really that good at reading people, and his eye contact cues aren't fitting in with any of my stored information on what various looks mean, so as soon as Dad wanders over (actually only a minute after Lysander started talking), I mumble something about wanting water and bolt. I meant to say something to Kerry today about feeling badly, but then I forgot

Oh well.

The Continuing Adventures of Me and My Two Too Large Feet

Today, while getting off the bus, I tripped over the side of my seat, then, when going down the stairs, I nearly face-planted. Nicky, who was the only kid on the bus at the time, gave me an incredulous look. I don't care what she thinks- I truly am that clumsy.

In other news, this site is hilarious. I'm partial to "Today, I stumbled. I looked around but no one saw me. I was still embarrassed. MLIA."

That site is almost as good as this one.

Now, I'm going to go write a U.S. history reflection about how it feels to get a 2. I'm going to milk all of the pain, suffering and personal growth that I possibly can out of that low grade.

Fun Times

I've been trying to come up with something interesting to say, but, quite honestly, I currently can't- oh, wait, I've got a mini one.

In music theory today, I tripped over my own lunchbox. The guy at the piano next to me looked up incredulously. "Did you just trip over your backpack." "No, lunchbox, actually."

Then, I finally went back to choir, which I've been ditching for Driver's Ed. for well over a month. As I was walking up into my choral position, I caught my flip-flop on the side of a chair and tripped spectacularly towards the tenors (and basses, but tenors is more alliterative), who laughed. I still maintain that this was a totally accidental tripping and had nothing whatsoever to do with looking at far-too-good-looking-for-his-own-good Wes.

Just for good measure, here is a Dave Barry article.

Dialogo

A Literal Translation of my latest spanish dialogue:

Narrator (N): For many years, the Marquis had the wish to kill the servant who had torn the fan of his wife.

Marquis (M): Today, I am happy that I can finally complete my goal.

N: The servant didn't know that his life was soon going to end.

Servant (S): You're blocking where I need to walk in order to obtain my serving platter.

M: You tore the fan of my wife many years ago.

S: I only tripped. I don't thing that I have culpability.

N: Like a lightning-bolt, the Marquis took the serving platter and began to fight with the servant

*the boy playing the waiter grabbed the platter and began hitting the boy playing the waiter over the head with it. Needless to say, I, the narrator, was laughing*

S: I hope that I win this important fight and that you lose.

M: You are an arrogant man and I recommend that you surrender.

N: The fight continued for some minutes, but at the end, the Marquis didn't vacillate and killed the servant.

M: Finally, I am capable of avenging myself of the servant!

N: Then, the Marquis left from the scene of the murder and went to his house.

Condesita (C) *played by Avon*: Hello, my good looking spouse. How are you? My god! You have blood on your hands! You have tripped?

M: I spoke to a man that I abhor. Now, he is not in the life.

C: I hope that you did not kill a man when you were at the embassy today.

Son (S): Dad, you killed the servant? I have wishes to see the body!

C: I hope nobody finds the body of the dead.

N: All the people of the family had a lot of fear. The Marquis recommended that the family flee the country.

C: We should change our names and flee the country.

S: Let's form a group of the freestyle rap music!

C: What a good idea, son.

N: Then, the family moved to Detroit and participated in many rap competitions.

M: My family, we have won many competitions and tomorrow is the big championship. How would you like to celebrate?

S: I want to go to the zoo in order to see the elephants.

N: While they were at the zoo, an elephant ate the family *(at this point, I was laughing so hard I had to stop and attempt to gather myself before spitting out comió)

C: We are in the stomach of the elephant and the championship is tomorrow. What are we going to do?

N: The family hoped that they could go to the competition, but they didn't leave from the stomach for ten years, and finally, they went out.

M: How good that now we are not in the stomach of an elephant.

S: Yes, I have much hunger because I have not eaten for ten years. I want sweets.

C: Good, son. Let's go to the store in order to obtain sweets that you can eat.

S: The sweets are very pleasing to me and I abhor the elephants.

M: Yes, never are we going to go to the zoo another time.

C: It is evident that the rap doesn't function for our family. We need to form a team of badminton!

THE END

The other presentations included one in which the Condesita is sitting with her husband (the Marquis) and her daughter, when the man she is having an affair with appears (handily gripping a rose between his teeth to denote his status as a Don Juan). The Condesita decides she likes the other man better, so the Dad kills himself dramatically and the daughter cries unconvincingly.

In another, the narrator came armed with a guitar. Archie wore a blonde wig to play the Condesita, and he and his hubby started a basketball team with ten of their eleven children. the eleventh wants to be a singer, so delivers most of his lines in song while the narrator plays guitar (yo amoooo tiiii, etc.). Unable to cope with his athletic parents' disapproval, the boy steals their money and runs. His parents don't hesitate to buy firearms and follow him, and the boy booby traps the path behind him. His father falls in a booby trap and dies (dramatically, of course), so Archie takes it upon himself to shoot the son, who also dies (dramatically, of course).

In another, Dino (short for dinosaur) plays the Marquis and must choose between John (he has a female twin) and Sonny (also a guy). Sonny spends the entire time devising devious tricks to get Dino to leave John, but in the end, Dino announces that he really just loves John, and hugs him.

It was all very silly.

Conversations

With Mario, of course (after all, who else would I be talking about)

As I emerged from the library this morning- not carrying my lunchbox, as I had left it sitting under the table, where I would have to retrieve it during lunch, after canvassing my morning classrooms in search of the elusive lunchbox, from beneath the bag of an entirely unaware freshman- I spotted Mario. He standing at the corner before the guidance department, (sorry for the tangency about the lunchbox, but we were reading those Bulwer-Lytton sentences during English today, and it's left me a wee bit loquacious), and talking to somebody (no, I can't remember who).

I looked at him, checking for the brief moment of eye contact that precludes a "Hi" or a wave (I'm always horrible embarrassed when other people don't notice me waving to them, so I do my best to notice others). I can't remember if he spotted me or not (what? it's been a long day! *it's been a long been a long been a long been a long daaaayyy*), but his conversation looked like it was ending, and he was angled in the direction I was going, so I slowed my walking (not that I was moving very fast in the first place, as Gretchen would surely tell you) on the off chance that he went the same way.

Just after I had *ahem* breezed by, he finished talking and started walking. I turned to wait for him and said, "Hi."

"Hi," he responded. "What's up."

"Math test. First period."

"Oh. Me too."

I looked at him, puzzled. "You definitely don't have math period eight. You used to, but now you don't. Right?"

"Oh. Um." He seemed a bit taken aback by my intimate knowledge of his schedule (I only know two or three classes. Honest!) "A.P. test. For calc. Probably hard, but um, fine, really."

"Oh. Well, good luck."

"Yeah, I should be fine. Not that hard really." He started to turn.

"Bye!"

"Bye." He kept walking for a step or two before turning. "Thanks." I think he said for the good luck after that, or something, but the problem with stories that take place before 7:30 a.m. is that I really have trouble remembering the dialogue. Unlike my discussion with Rube, which I transcribed almost word-for-word two days later, these early morning things are far more difficult to keep track of. It's a pity, really.

Awkward Turtle

My embarrassing moment of the day:

I'm sitting in Spanish, and we're about to go over the homework, so, as always, I have to go get my textbook (the scoliosis-not-having-to-carry-it thing has advantages). While standing up, I attempted to step over my backpack, but tripped on it and did about five one-legged hop thingies to stay upright. No one laughed, but I sit in the front row- I'm sure somebody noticed. So, I got the book, and, when walking back to my chair, went the long way around my desk, in order to avoid the backpack, while concentrating on not tripping. I had almost reached the desk when Archie looked at me and said, "me presta un boligrapho?" or something to that effect. "Uh-eh-er-wha?" I responded, since I realized that I had no idea what he had just said. He repeated the question, I said, "uh, sure, si...yeah? um, here." I sat at my desk and tried to avoid looking at him the rest of class. It's rather annoying that he blocks the window.

I had a thing for Archie for a couple of months during freshman year. It faded, but I still have a slight tendency to spontaneously turn bright red when talking to him, because I remember how I always turn bright red when talking to him, and I get embarrassed about that, and then I blush again. It's a vicious cycle, really.