Title Forgotten

I spent most of yesterday lolling about and being unproductive. Today seems very likely to be similar. I've been reading, and I got back on the Python horse a little bit--though I think I'll probably end up taking the Python programming class at my college of choice.

Speaking of college decisions--May 1st is rapidly approaching. I'm going to click my commit and decline buttons tomorrow at some point. It's been a relatively easy decision for me--I was pretty emotionally attached to one school going into the preview weekends, and nothing I saw made me doubt my decision, so that was more or less that. I know what the best fit for me is, and that's where I'll be this Autumn.

I know it isn't that easy for everybody, though. I spent nearly an hour and a half today talking with Avon. She's deciding between two schools, both of which are pretty good, but she's worried about the nonpremed academic programs at one, and I don't know how much of her fear is legitimate because I honestly haven't done the research. That said, I've been more or less telling her to go to that one because she seems pretty emotionally attached to it, but she'll make whatever decision seems like it's best for her.

I'm now listening to music on my computer--the current song is Run, by Benton Paul, whoever that is. I'm also talking (internet-talking, but you know what I mean) to Maxwell. I'm recounting the tale of my ditching Arthur at prom because I'm uncomfortable dancing with dudes--he called the move courageous and said that it was quintessentially me. I think he's a little bit insane, but I suppose most people are in some way.

My last science fair is tomorrow. I'm not sure if I wish I'd done them sooner--they're fun, but I'm glad for the uncompetitive attitude to science I currently have. I'm still looking forward to it, though. Science! Yay!

Continued Ruminations on Reunions

Yuma has his own energy startup. He runs it with full employee support, miraculously. He somehow managed to develop some astonishing social skills. At some point, he bought my battery concept, the one I'd held onto since high school, and incorporated it into his business plan. The money from that allows me to fund a reasonable lifestyle while still doing academic research. It allows him to be a billionaire, so everyone wins.

Gnatta runs a strip club where the primary attraction is Rachel (that suggestion was Ginny. The strip club was me, though) and the magically duplicating twins (two of Mario's clones). At one point, Sergio went to the strip club, and, seeing Rachel, elected to try to rescue her. He went back to talk to her and ran into Gnatta. The two get into a huge fight, claws out. Then, "Gnatta trips, falls over, and accidentally kisses Sergio, and they discover they've secretly loved each other all this time, and the fights were just denials, so they make up and come to the reunion holding hands, but, once there" (Ginny quote!), Scott declares his undying love for Sergio. Sergio struggles between the two, but then Scott snatches Sergio away, and the two run off into the moonlight and live happily ever after.

Julie is an astronaut, and she has just gotten back from the moon. She brings a moon rock to the reunion, and it has special properties, distorting electrical signals. When she comes near Dino, he short-circuits even more severely and collapses to the floor. Melissa, who has apparently been there the whole time, rushes over. "Oh, dear," she says. "This happens sometime. Ever since we extracted his circuit for multiplication purposes-"

We look at her blankly.

"For our children! They are small and lovely and will never grow up."

"Wait," said Cammie, who had wondered over, robo-baby in hand. "How old is this little fellow, then?"

"Well, 14. But you still look two, don't you honey." Melissa accepted the baby and pinched its cheeks. She then extracted a key from it, restarted Dino, and continued as if nothing at all had happened.

We move on, then, to Cammie, who has been working as an English teacher at our dear old Paperclip High School. She almost didn't come to the reunion, but decided, at the last minute, that since it was so close, she might as well. Anyways, she somehow (and no one is certain how) ended up marrying Lyle directly out of college. They had a couple of tight-pants-wearing children, and lived the perfect cookie cutter life. Then, one day, (again, completely inexplicably), Eccentrius decides to visit. Of course, being eccentric, he does this by showing up with a can of paint that changes colors in the sunlight, climbing over the perfect picket fence, and beginning to paint. Cammie, naturally, has no idea how to respond, but, after a good deal of running about, Lyle runs off with his secretary, who turns out to have chlamydia, and then Cammie and Eccentrius get together. They marry while hanging upside down by their legs from a tree. The minister sits upon a suspended tire. The newlyweds honeymoon in Swahili, where they visit Nyx and get some much-deserved sun.

While they are gone, Avon watches the kids. She manages to fit them in around her busy schedule at her private pediatrics practice. Her partner there is Lucas. Nobody expected him to go into medicine- to be honest, no one realized he was that good at school- but he hit college running, got into med school, and ended up, somehow, in pediatrics. When Avon wanted to start a private practice and started looking for doctors in the area, she found him, and the two established their own office. They worked together platonically for quite some time. After all, he was married to Cora Lee for quite some time, until he realized that she was just a bit mad. However, he neglected to tell Avon about the divorce for months, despite the constant flirting. Poor Avon was in agony, convinced she would hurt Cora Lee, certain she was being morally unsound. She finally caved when, while at Lucas's house (for a completely explicable, nonsexual reason), she saw the divorce papers sitting on his desk.

Anyways, I think that's enough of the future for the time being.

Visiting Princeton: College Number Something Out of Far Too Many

As Ginny detailed here, we went to Princeton. Yay Princeton! I, of course, fell in love with yet another school. God knows how I'm going to manage to make any sort of decision when the time comes.

Avon slept over the night before, which mostly consisted of me trying to work secrets out of her and her responding with things like "well, this one time, I pretended I wasn't going anywhere so that he wouldn't have to drive me," and me being like "how are you so perfect?" in my head, but then I remember- Avon is Avon. We also spent a considerable amount of time on the computer. She had a conversation with Lysander in one window about banal items of interest, such as what they'd done that day. Andy and I, on the other hand, spent twenty minutes talking about the origins of the names of the various planets, with a few digressions.

Digression example:

Andy: Saturne in French, Saturnus is the Latin. Like "Marcus Aurelius" and such.

Tea: What, the French call him Marcu Aureliu? Oh, also, which came first, the names or the planets?

Andy: Probably the planets. The -us is Latin, I mean, like Marcus Aurelius, and the French call him Marc-Auréle.

Tea: Was he the Roman guy who killed Caesar?

Andy: err...I don't think so? Brutus?

Tea: Ahh, right. What was Aurelius again?

Andy: Marcus Aurelius was a stoic emperor, as in he was a Roman emperor and he practiced Stoicism. That's about all I know.

Tea: Everything from Western Humanities has blended together into a large blur of togas and "I WAS GOING A BUCK FIFTY ON THE AUTOBON"

Andy: ...uhhh

Tea: my western teacher was insane.

Andy: O_O

In the morning, Ginny showed up about ten minutes after my alarm went off. I believe I answered the door while brushing me teeth. Then I ate breakfast and then we left. Great story, no?

The big problem was that the GPS and google directions disagreed, so my mother dearest decided she wanted to just stay on I-95, but we somehow missed the turn, as all of the signs in New Jersey contradict each other, including signs telling you to make a u-turn at the next intersection, which is completely crazy, followed immediately by "RIGHT TURN AHEAD" for the same road. Very, very odd.

Anyways, Princeton was wonderful. I like that you don't have to apply to one school, and that the first two years of requirements for all science majors are identical, so you don't have to know going in what, precisely, you want to specialize in. And I like that, you know, it's PRINCETON, with all of the awesome academics and amazing undergraduate programs that comes with that. Oh, and the admissions office had extremely comfy chairs. That should be another factor in my school decisions: comfiness of chairs. They are, after all, an extremely important consideration.

Un Día De Estos

Narrator (N): One day, a dentist and his son went to the village to buy food for dinner.

Hijo(Son)(H): Father, I hoped that we had eaten sweets for dinner yesterday.

Dentist(D): If you had eaten sweets for the dinner, you would have died of an illness of the teeth.

H: I want that you buy for me more sweets and chocolates right now!

D: I cannot buy the sweets for you because there are big and ridiculous taxes.

H: What are taxes? I hope they hadn't eaten my candies.

D: The taxes can't eat nothing, but they are very evil.

N: They didn't know it, but during all of this time the militant mayor had listened and he became very angry. If he had not listened, he would not be angry. But now he wanted vengeance.

-The Militant Mayor enters-

Mayor (A): My taxes are very important for the populace. If we had had this good taxes, our village would be better.

D: But these ridiculous taxes are only for the dentists!

H: But father, you are a dentist, and I want my candies not the taxes. I hate that you are a dentist.

D: I'm going to start a demonstration against the grand taxes.

A: *laughing evilly* You shouldn't do this for two reasons. The first is that you are the only dentist in all of the village. And the second reason is that a demonstration is illegal.

H: What is a demonstration? I haven't heard of the demonstrations.

A: The demonstrations are very bad and we're never going to speak of them in the future. If we didn't have demonstrations, there would be more peace in the world.

N: The dentist became very angry that the mayor would insult the demonstrations.

D: In the past, I have become very angry that the government was military, but never like now.

A: If anyone had a demonstration, I would put them in the jail, and the same is true today.

H: You cannot but my father in the jail. Father has big and powerful weapons, and he can kill you.

N: The mayor drew his sword of light and said a threat.

A: No, poor son, I go to kill your father.

D: You are not correct, Sir. I will kill you in a minute. If I were you, I would have fear for my life.

A: Don't speak to me using the inferior form of the pronoun "you" and its respective variations in conjugation! I am in the superior position!

N: The mayor became very angry that someone would use bad grammar.

-fighting. the dentist is mortally wounded-

D: My whole body hurts. I can see a tunnel of light.

H: Father! No! You cannot die! I want to live with you for forever!

D: If I had won, I wouldn't have died in this manner.

N: In this moment, the dentist dies in a very dramatic manner.

A: I have won! I am victorious! You have died, and your death is not sad.

H: No! My name is "Son of the Dentist." You have killed my father. Prepare yourself to die!

A: You cannot kill me. I am much larger than you.

H: I will grow.

A: Where will you grow? You don't have parents.

N: I will adopt the son, and we will live together happily for always.

-THE END-

Script by Tea, Julie, Gretchen, and Avon.

After School Unadventurous Adventures

I left Spanish this afternoon with Gretchen and Avon, and we were the nearly last, if not the very last, people to leave. Avon went down the first staircase to catch her bus, and Gretchen and I sped up, soon overtaking Dino and Sonny, who, while moving at a reasonable rate, couldn't match what Richard calls Gretchie's ridiculously fast pace. We then proceeded to talk about Dino, but, despite his relative proximity, he didn't notice.

Then Gretchen ended up wrapped in some conversation with Sonny, Dino forged on ahead, and I followed far enough behind him that it didn't seem worth the effort to chase after him just to awkwardly disengage upon reaching the bathroom.

By the time I extracted my wallet from my backpack and journeyed downstairs in search of a bake sale, the lobby seemed almost deserted, and there was, alas, no bake sale. I located Nyx by means of her floral shirt (which is very pretty, by the way) and announced myself to her, Kathrya, and Tybalt by means of a request for food.

I was very disappointed to discover that Tawny's baklava, which had previously been in the locker she shares with Nyx, had been removed. I pulled out some pretzels, which Kathrya and Tybalt agreed didn't taste like "real pretzels," and Nyx left for the dodgeball game, and the three of us stood somewhat oddly in the lobby for a few minutes. Brian came by asking for members of his team, and a bit later, in a matching tee, Rodney walked past.

Rodney can be identified by the fact that, in my English class today, Ms. Seltzia mentioned tessellations. I said that they were my absolute favorite, and Rodney was, sadly enough, the only person in class who got the joke.

Kathrya, Tybalt and I eventually started walking towards the cars, and we saw Bryant walking towards us, and then we all turned around and walked out to the parking lot.

The only bit of the conversation I can remember is that something about Dino came up, and Bryant said, somewhat out of nowhere, that Dino has a really annoying voice. I then mentioned something about being really confused when he started laughing at me in the language lab until I realized that the audio system was making chipmunk voice, and there was a fair amount of me trying to figure out where to walk, because I didn't like being way out on the edge, because it's hard to talk across four people, but it felt sort of weird to drop back, so I think there ended up being a fair amount of weaving about, but I suppose it worked.

When we reached the vehicles, Bryant requested his ride to unstickered parking, and Kathrya and I both volunteered.

"You want to ride in the truck?" I asked. "It's pretty fun."

"It is," said Kathrya, "extremely cool."

Bryant consented, so we waved goodbye to the lovebirds (yes, I am going to call them that). I stood on that random black bar on the underside of the truck that is probably not random at all and meant for standing on to throw stuff in the back, and threw my backpack and lunch into the bed of the truck. Bryant seemed apprehensive.

"Do I need to put mine back there?"

"Just hang onto it."

"What do you do when it rains?"

"I don't. I mean, I haven't had a passenger when it was raining. Actually, wait, no, I drove Ginny home. She just held everything. It's a bit crowded, though."

He nodded, and I put in the key and rolled down the windows. As soon as power reached the stereo, Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone" started blaring at a somewhat inhuman volume. I turned it down a bit and pulled out of the parking spot.

"You mess with it," I said.

"This is fine."

"I hate this song."

He did something to the music controls that I didn't see because I was driving. Britney started singing "and I'm caught in between, counting 1, 2, 3-"

"Oh, that's loads better," I said.

He laughed and did some different button pushing and the music changed again, to something instrumental, familiar, and yet somehow out of reach.

"Should I go right up here?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I'll go straight then."

I turned out of Paperclip, still trying to figure out what the song was. "It's Lady Gaga, singing, well, something, I just...."

"Bad Romance."

"Ah, yes. I probably ought to have known that."

I wasn't looking at him, but I could practically feel his shrug.

From there, we somehow managed to discuss both what house the blueprint on the dashboard was for (he read off my address, so I assumed it was my house, but it turns out that he actually read the builder's address label, and it was for a different project) and, after I took a turn a little bit too quickly, whether I was allowed to have passengers in the car.

I said that as long as he could pretend to be my twelve-year-old sister, we'd be fine, but I wasn't sure he could pull it off, and, oh, wait, my sister is actually thirteen, I totally know how old my siblings are.

I think I got a laugh for that one.

And then there was something about parallel parking, and then we were at his car, parked as crookedly as predicted, and he was gone, and I was coming to an intersection I wasn't accustomed to, trying to determine the best possible route to a pastry.

Gretchen and Tea add Kathrya to the Conversation

Gretchen: OMG, OMG, OMG.

Tea: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Kathrya: hahahaaa

Gretchen: aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tea: AAAAH

Gretchen: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Kathrya: good god you two hahaa. It's not that big of a deal :)

Gretchen: YES IT IS!!!!!!!!!!

Kathrya: hahaa. It's just a first datee relax.

Gretchen: did he ask you out? What movie are you seeing? Are you excited? omg.

Tea: AAAAAH. I NEED DETAILS.

Kathrya: nah, we're watching movies at his plate, which was kind of the general plan, as Tea can say.

Gretchen: oh

Tea: TYBALT HAS A PLATE. OMG.

Gretchen: haha

Kathrya: Plate? What?

Gretchen: place*

Tea: You said plate. Got it. Wait. What were the precise circumstances?

Gretchen: Yes, do tell.

Kathrya: Okay, okay anyways we were going to watch movies, and then Ali texted me asking what chocolate I liked and then Tybalt texted me telling me he bought it, and then she told me he was going to ask me out tomorrow and we had a conversation which I think all got relayed to Tybalt, because eventually he just cut out the middle man, so no one said it straight out but now it's like a date. Does this make sense?

Tea: Dino is yelling at me for not telling him why I'm leaving, by the way.

Gretchen: haha.

Tea: Anyways, YAY KATHRYA!

Gretchen: Congrates :)

Kathrya: haha thanks.

Gretchen: that's so cute!! ahhhhh. This is more exciting than the Olympics.

Tea: AAAAAAH I KNOW!

Kathrya: hahaa

Tea: Gretchen and I have been going OMG for like EVER

Kathrya: really gus??

Tea: yes!

Gretchen: YES

Kathrya: hahaa. Well, I'm glad I can entertain you guys.

Tea: I'm going to need a big report afterwards. And also, Dino is still yelling at me.

Gretchen: Haha.

Kathrya: tell him to go away.

Gretchen: second. By thew way, do you (Kathrya) mind if we bug Tybalt when he signs onto fb.

Kathrya: uhmmmm yes. Feel free to do so after tomorrow though.

Tea: Okay.

Gretchen: ok

Kathrya: I feel like it's not official enough. I don't know, I'm fairly confused, cause he didn't say it straight out, but it like, is, so whatever.

Gretchen: When it's on facebook, it's official.

Tea: Don't put it on facebook, that's awkward.

Gretchen: I guess...not that I would know.

Kathrya: Well, it's just one date. We'll see. I sound like Avon.

Tea: Dino is now threatening to remove friendship. I wasn't aware we were friends.

Gretchen: Just tell him you're going to help your sister with something, or just tell him you have to go. The end.

Tea: But we're getting into a really good fight. It's fun? and BACK TO KATHRYA. AAAAHHH OMG OMG OMG OMG cough.

Gretchen: OMG OMG OMG OMG

Kathrya: I'll take it this means you approve?

TEa: YES DUHHHHHH.

Kathrya: hahaaa

Gretchen: Kath, you have no idea, Tea and I have been FREAKING OUT.

Kathrya: it's okay I was freaking out earlier. It went from OMGGGGGGGGG YAY to OHNOESWAH to COMMITTMENT PHOBE TIME to YAY. :)

Gretchen: Stay at Yay :)

Kathrya: I plan to.

Tea: Be married to someone else on fb, and then don't worry about it, because if it's not on fb...

Kathrya: hahaaaaa if it's not on fb then I have privacy.

Gretchen: Kathrya, will you marry me?

Tea: I PROPOSED FIRST. I DID. WITH MY SHIRT.

Gretchen: WHAT!?!?

TEA: SO THERE.

Kathrya: with your shirt.

Tea: HA. HA. HA.

Kathrya: SO TRUE

Gretchen: MINE WAS SO MUCH MORE OFFICIAL

Tea: MINE WAS FIRST

Gretchen: MINE WAS BETTER

Tea:AND WE LIVE IN A FOURTH DIMENTIONAL WORLD

Gretchen: ?

Tea: WHERE TIME FOLLOWS A MOSTLY LINEAR PATH AND WE CANNOT GO BACKWARDS BECAUSE WE ARE NOT FIFTH DIMENSIONAL BEINGS. BOOYAH!

Gretchen hey, does facebook let you marry more than one person?

Tea: polygamy.

Kathrya: No, it doesn't, stupid. I wish it did. But anyway, I just took my relationship status of facebook. I think that just solves a lot of problems.

Tea: I agree. Also, Dino is still yelling at me.

Gretchen: ABOUT WHAT??

Tea: WHAY DO YOU THINK

Gretchen: AMC? beach coverups?

Tea: I told him I was leaving, and he said why, I said can't tell, he says TELL ME, I say no, etc., for like ten minutes.

Gretchen: I'll tell him you're talking to me, and I'm hogging you.

Tea: NO. Then he'll think it's about you and Tybalt. Sorry.

Gretchen: Then suffer. WHAT!?!?! Did you mention Tybalt?!?!??!?!

Kathrya: what??

Tea: he says it's that KATHRYA HAS A CRUSH ON TYBALT. He came up with it by himself.

Gretchen: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tea: What the hell am I supposed to say.

Kathrya: ommmmmmmmmg WHY IS HE TALKING ABOUT ITTTTTT

Tea: I don't fucking know.

Gretchen: DON'T SWEAR. just log out...

Tea: Then he'll think it's true.

Kathrya: just tell him it's none of his business and log out.

Gretchen: woah, I said log out first. Credit it to me.

Kathrya: Also, why do I feel like EVERYONE knew he liked me before I did.

Gretchen: :P

Tea: Oh, shit. I swore at him. Now he says Tybalt likes Kathrya.

Gretchen: Well, he's not wrong.

Kathrya: This is true.

Gretchen: Kathrya is very likable.

Tea: He blatantly just told me that Tybalt likes Kathrya, by the way, so he's clearly a crappy confidant, and I should have told him this sooner, because then you would have found out sooner.

Kathrya: Well, it's cuter this way. I like the Valentine's Day theme.

Gretchen: What's he saying now.

Tea: WHAT'S THE SECRET TEA? ROHO. ROJO. BASTARDO.

Gretchen: HAHAHA.

Tea: I responded with: TALK TO TYBALT. ROJA. BASTARDA. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Gretchen: Presuming he understood that much spanish.

Tea: We've devolved into all caps. I should probably just log out, but I'm enjoying myself way too much.

Kathrya: This is amusing. I vote stay put and keep us updated.

Tea: I think he's giving up. I need to give him something though. He's starting to stop responding.

Kathrya: Something what?

Tea: Am I allowed to end with him finding out or not? Because otherwise this is just cruel.

Gretchen: Well, he basically got it.

Tea: I just dropped a massive hint and he stopped responding.

Gretchen: My dad is playing dramatic classical music in his room and I can hear is and it totally fits!!!!!!!!

Kathrya: I like dramatic classical music.

Gretchen: It's Beethoven's fifth symphony. duh duh duh DUH.

Why My Problems Are Puny

Well, I haven't got very many of them, for one thing. Just the typical constantly careening self-esteem of a teenager, lack of any sort of romantic anything ever, a relatively minor health issue, on and off anxiety, fairly frequent social paranoia, clumsiness and a severe case of the geeks. Well, that last one isn't so much a problem as a solution. And, all in all, none of those are particularly bad.

A lot of teenagers have horrible self-images, so the fact that mine sometimes is good is definitely a good thing. Lack of romantic anything ever is hardly unusual for a sixteen year old nerd. Thyroid problems are easily medicated. The anxiety I deal with. The social paranoia is vastly improved upon by large numbers of awesome friends. The clumsiness is cute. I mean, I'm 5'9", so I could probably do some serious damage and I probably look ridiculous, but I'm saying it's cute because it makes me feel better.

And geek is fun. As is nerd. And I'm probably more nerd than geek, anyways.

There is also the oft-recommended there-are-children-starving-in-Africa method. This is basically reminding yourself that somebody else has it worse. Watching The Kiterunner, for example, will do that to a girl. Because, seriously, at least I wasn't hunted down and killed or raped. Visiting the hospital also helps. I went to see Avon today. I drove on the highway, by myself I might add, and then crawled from the exit to the parking garage, trying desperately not to get hopelessly lost (I know the hospital is very visible, but roads are confusing!).

I finally got there. The people in the hospital are so nice, Avon included, but the whole experience is still somewhat terrifying. I mean, hospitals don't bother me- I'm very comfortable with hanging bags of blood and IV lines and people in scrubs. It's just I hate the idea of being so sick that one has to go to the hospital. Illness is so utterly random. I know that it's not, really, that it's the product of genes and of environment, that there are any number of things I could be doing to keep myself healthy, but there are still the totally confusing syndromes like ITP. Idiomatic Thrombocytosis Purpleosis, as I told Avon I call it. It's scary, the way people can be here one day and gone the next. I don't like to think about it too often. It's the lack of control that bothers me. I'd like to be able to say, unequivocally, that I'm going to live for 78.6 years, have 2.5 kids and 1.3 husbands, but I can't, and, sometimes, that terrifying thought seems like more of a problem than the whole list of the ones above.

Countdowns

Number of...

...midterms left: 2

...English essays to write during the midterm: 2

...rice crispy treats eaten during midterms week: 2

...cookies: 3

...blueberries: 726

...pills taken: 23

...minutes remaining with Mrs. Hirten: 35

...free periods thus far: 0

...free period in the rest of the year: 7

...twins in that free period: 2

...other friends discovered in free period: 0

...pages of science research paper: 12

...pages of research paper left to rewrite: 10

...colleges visited: 3

...visited colleges in Forbe's top 15: 2

...top 127:3

...times I have looked up RSI on college confidential: 612

...times I have worked on my Rockefeller application: 0

...practice SAT tests taken: 2

...days until SAT: 4

...people I owe clothing to: 1

...friends in the hospital: 1

...minutes on phone with Avon: 102

...percentage of that time in which Avon talked: 11

Sighting

Now that OFM is over, I am going to have to continuously struggle to prevent myself from simply using this blog as a medium to record Mario sightings and the various short, pointless conversations that ensue.

In fabulous news, I made pit orchestra for Guys and Dolls! I'm so excited. I'm sharing the piano part with Harry (I'd apparently nicknamed him already. Who knew?). I'll have to talk with him to decide who gets to play what. Getting him to talk should be interesting to say the least. He isn't exactly gregarious. The whole "I'm now going to have to talk to this guy I don't know" situation reminds me of last year, when I first started taking the train with Mario and was regularly freaking out over how awkward it was.

Also, I've begun studying SAT words. My word for today is disparage, which means belittle. For instance, after hearing that Rachel was going to the dance with Mario, I made many disparaging comments about her, trying to make her seem less important.

My funny story is actually from a few days ago. Actually, I lied, it was only yesterday. I was walking with Avon and someone else (I think it was Red, but that doesn't really make sense, since she isn't in Spanish, so it may have actually been someone else, but I really think that it wasn't Julie or Gretchen, and I'm not sure who else I would have been walking with, since it was definitely a girl) after Spanish. We were headed towards the bridge. I had my weird Mario-is-nearby sensor go off a little bit, but I assumed it was a false positive (considering the fact that it hasn't been wrong yet, I should probably stop doing that). Then I realized that I had a physics test next period and was walking in the wrong direction. I did a 180 and headed back towards the stairs and lo and behold, Mario was actually behind me. We both said hi, I passed him, and then about a millisecond later, I ran head on into a senior girl who gave me a very dirty look.

Honors List

Today, Gretchen came over, and we decided to combine our interests in gossip and academics to produce: The High Honors Predictions (Wood Knocking Enabled). This is also an opportunity for me to come up with lots of fun nicknames.

First, the top fifteen, also known as: Our Wonderful List, by Us.

1. Bryant, the somewhat smarter twin.

2. Tybalt, the other really smart twin.

3. Yuma, the Asian boy who likes to say "um." He is here because he is smart, and we like him.

4. Clara, who played Clara in the nutcracker and did very, very well on the math midterm and plays violin. We needed a girl on this list.

5. Julie. Because she is Julie.

6. Mario, because we like him more than

7. Livny. How we wish that he was stupider.

8. Brian. His first name is Avon's last name.

9. Jeff. Tierra is obsessed with him. However, he has taken a lot of journalism, which might pull down his GPA, but whatever.

10 and 11: Tea and Gretchen. Because we are awesome.

12. Avon or Natalie. They have the same first name, and we aren't really sure.

13. Sonny. The taller of the two workshop boys from Avon's elementary school.

14. Ariadne. Her dad gave a speech to our math class.

15. Nyx, because we love her. She's pretty good at school, too.

It'll be interesting to see if any of this rings true after another year and a half.

Also, I've been taking art classes at the art center in a nearby town. My teacher has a porno-stache, and it creeps me out a lot.

Famiglia

is here. Cousin, cousin, and aunt. I don't really have time to post. One of them is currently brushing her teeth, and I'm next in the bathroom. Then my teeth will be clean.

I went to the dentist today.

Oh, and I dreamt that I ate dinner with Caleb, his parents, and his little sister at their house, but it looked like my house. We ate fishsticks made of chicken and fried rice. Then it turned into Avon's house, and we looked for her shoes.

Dreamboat

Aren't you all glad that my fascinatingly imaginative subconscious is acting up again? I had this one at four in the morning last night.

It was the last day of school. I was with Nyx, and she, for some reason, had to talk to one of her teachers, so I was walking with her. There was some point thing on her report card (it sounded like the middle school point system, kind of) and she had to go talk to one of her teachers. She had 128 out of a possible 130, and I remember wondering if I had done better than that, but, because she was older, she knew and I didn't. Also, I wanted to talk to Dr. Verona, my ASR teacher for next year, but I didn't know who he was.

Then, Avon and Vicky showed up. When Avon heard about Nyx's thing, she immediately started worrying that her points were also messed up, so went with her. Vicky came with me to the third floor. We went up the stairs that are near the Continuing Ed. office. As we neared the top, we could see all the science teachers walking in the other direction. The orchestra teacher, Mrs. Kilmer (the one I actually like) came up behind us and told us to go around somewhere. Vicky and I decided that we didn't really need to see the science teachers, so we left. Also, Vicky's hair had the texture it does when it's wet, but it had a glowing color worthy of a shampoo commercial.

We went down the stairs, and they morphed into ones that looked like the double flight that went from the 5th grade hallway to the cafeteria in the elementary school Nyx and I attended. They were very crowded. As we turned to go down the second flight, Mario, who had been coming up the stairs, caught my hand. Vicky was pulled down the stairs with the rest of the crowd, and Mario released me.

"Oh, hi, bye," I said. "Have a nice summer."

"You, too. I'll see you at SHP next year."

"Yes." I nodded, and Mario went in for a hug. I was a little bit surprised, but went along with it. When we hugged, his shirt changed from white to gray and he got a bit taller, so I couldn't see his face as well. After a suitably brief hug, I started to pull back, but his arms were still closed, so I closed mine again, and then he started to pull back, but my arms were closed, so he closed his again, and then I unsuccessfully tried to untangle myself one more time before just giving in and staying there. We both laughed.

"So," I said, jokingly. "When should I be letting go?"

His voice changed, becoming harsher. "Yesterday."

"Huh?" I was confused. He was all flirty, and now he wasn't, and, aside from that, we hadn't been hugging yesterday, so the comment didn't really make sense.

"Let go. Now." His voice was firm.

"Oh," I responded, a little bit hurt, and extricated myself from his arms. Dora then came up behind me.

"Tea!" she called.

"Dora!" I squealed, and we hugged. Mario and everybody else was gone.

"I'd stay and talk, but I have to catch my bus. Bye!" she said.

I stood there for a moment before remembering that I had to catch mine as well. I went to chase after her, but she had already vanished. I emerged from the cafeteria stairs into the entrance hall of Paperclip High School. Nyx and Avon were standing there. "Nyx!"

"What?"

"I have the most embarrassing story to tell you."

She laughed. I looked out for my bus, but they'd all left. I had missed my bus.

Then I woke up. I felt more distressed when I woke than I felt the time I woke up in the middle of explaining to Peter's mother that Peter was dead.

Interpretations?

I moved a mattress all by myself today. I am so strong.

I haven't really done particularly much else, to be honest, but I look forward to seeing Avon, Gretchen, and Nyx at 5 o'clock this evening (that's what I like to call a reminder :))

Oh, and I found the link about un-dating. I think that Nyx has been a victim of this phenomenon.

My Schedule

I got my first choice, after well over an hour of standing next to the English table. By the way, Margot (her twin sister's name is a flower) probably hates me at this point. Arena was about to close, and the department head was willing to give one of us period 8, but the other would have to take period 1, and I said I'd have to switch four or five classes, and Margot said she was just to confused, so the woman handing them out gave it to me. Avon later told me that Margot knew perfectly well that she'd only have to switch one class, she was faking it to get period 8. Ah well, I won in the end.

I hate how nasty everyone gets, though. For instance, Lily (and yes, that is a nickname) spent was continually saying nice things about the teachers she didn't want, trying to talk others into taking them. It just felt so underhanded.

Ah, well.

1 physics h

2 calculus b.c.

3 gym (with Nia and Kathrya and Ali!)

4 adv. drawing/anthropology

5 ASR

6 spanish h

7 gov (with the teacher whose name has two syllables)/oil painting

8 english

Tripping Tea Strikes Again

This morning, before my Spanish final, I was walking up the stairs. My foot caught on the edge, and I tripped forward. I looked back, hoping nobody had noticed, and that my skirt hadn't flown up. The guy behind me said, "Don't worry, nobody saw."

Except him....

In other news, the waiter at the restaurant we went to for dinner looked eerily like Lysander, only different, and with a possibly fake Italian accent, and no glasses. It was utterly bizarre.

Also, we had a pretty awesome impromptu party at my house; Ginny, Tierra, Dora, Avon, Nyx, Vicky, and Gretchen all came over, although Nyx didn't get there until almost everyone else had left. Regardless, it was a fun time.

I hugged Opmin during my last day of U.S. History. I was like, "this year was awesome, can I hug you?" and she went "Okay!" so I did. Horribly exciting, no?

Also, I might as well share a story from U.S.

I was sitting in my quartergroup with Emma, Joanie and Charles. Emma was talking about going to college, and how she wanted to go to University of Florida but that, since her sister (who is currently training to be a sex therapist) hadn't gotten in, wouldn't either.

Joanie responded with, "Well, was it a target school, or no, because it makes a difference."

and Rachel immediately butted in.

"Don't say that!"

"Um..."

"It's rude and cruel."

"Look, Rachel, I said a target school, it wasn't anything interesting."

"I told you not to say that!"

At that point, Charles mostly just looked confused, and Peter and I were cracking up.

"I have no idea what word you're talking about."

"Retarded. You said retarded."

"She didn't say retarded, she said target," I said.

"No she didn't." She looked at Peter and Emma for agreement.

"She definitely did not say-"

"STOP SAYING THAT!" Opmin interrupted.

"I didn't say anything in the first place," grumbled Joanie.

Oh, Rachel. In the beginning of class, Michael pulled out a pair of large silver headphones and put them over his ears. "These are great," he said. "I can't here Rachel at all!"

My table, at least, was in hysterics.

Also, there are suspicions that the gatorade was spiked. Charles was drinking it, and he said, "Wow, this gatorade tastes funny."

"It's blue gatorade, what do you expect?"

"No, I mean, it doesn't taste normal. Don't drink it, okay?"

"I wasn't planning on it."

"I'm serious. It's spiked or something."

I gave him an incredulous look. "Whatever you say."

A few minutes later, Daniel turned around.

"Charles," he said. "I think the gatorade is spiked."

"I know, dude. Weird." He turned to me. "See, it's corroborated. Don't drink it."

"I already said I wasn't going to."

"Good."

Cookies

This is written during my ASR final. It took me an hour, because Boris kept distracting me.
Stupid Boris.

I walked down the hallway, giggling to myself. As I entered the cafeteria, who did I see but Mario, sitting at a table in the freshman section, eating an omelet, friend who thinks he’s gangster in tow (I have got to come up with a nickname for that kid).
He waved, and I waved. I debated walking past and leaving it at that, but I decided I should at least talk to him. I walked over. “Hi, Mario.”
“Hey.”
“This is going to sound kind of weird, but your portfolio has typos.”
“What?”
“Well, I was reading your portfolio, because you had totally stolen my topic.”
“You did physics?”
“No, science, actually. Well, science classes.”
“Okay. You read mine? Did you like the jokes?”
“Yeah, they were funny. Actually, on mine, I only have one joke, but I put in something saying, oh, at least I only have one joke instead of a whole page.”
“Yours has jokes, too?”
“Only one.”
“So where was this typo? Was it in the first section? The second? Wait- was it in the jokes?”
“Well, um…”
He looked at me.
“Well, we found some reflection thing, and, well, we spent most of the time going ‘haha, Mario said “breasts”’”
Gangsta boy snickered, and Mario looked at him. “That does sound like something I would say, doesn’t it.” He turned to me. “The one with the really long title?”
“Long enough that I couldn’t understand it.”
“Well, I only really wrote one reflection. What did you think of it?”
“It was, um, interesting…”
“Interesting?”
“I was busy laughing at the word use.”
“So what were these typos?”
“Well, I caught three of them.”
“Were they noticeable?”
“It was the first word.”
“Really?” He leaned over to the trash can and tossed his plate and the remainder of his omellete.
“Yeah, you said I when you meant it.”
“Oh no. And Opmin has probably already read it.”
“Vicky said that she hadn’t.”
“Good- wait. When was this?”
“This morning.”
“Yes! You said there were more.”
“Yeah, the one I said before, then one where you put women and beautiful in the wrong order, and one more. I can’t remember the last one though.”
“Alright. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I should probably get to science.”
“Yeah.”
We paused for a second.
“Did you finish your paper yet?” he said.
“What paper? There’s a paper?” Did I miss something for U.S.? AAAAhhhhhh!
“The ASR paper.”
“Oh, yeah, I finished it a while ago.”
“You did.”
“Yeah, Breese had us write them a while ago, back in, like, April.”
“That’s lucky. Mine’s not done.”
“I suppose, but I switched my topic in, like, April, so it was kind of a pain.”
Mario shrugged.
We paused another moment.
“Oh, do you want a cookie?” I asked.
He turned to gangsta friend. “You want a cookie?”
Gangsta boy shrugged. “Nah.”
Mario considered it for a moment. “I can’t pass up a cookie,” he said, and stood.
I laughed and pulled them out of my bag. “Here. They’re chocolate chip.”
“Thanks. They look good.”
“I made them myself. Also, I really need to go to science now.
“See you later,” we both said, at exactly the same time.
I left, carrying my cookies. As I reached the end of the ramp, I saw Carly, from my math class. “Do you want a cookie?”
“Okay.”
Then, I saw my grandmother. “Cookie? I keep giving them to people, and I think I’m going to run out soon.”
“Well, you can’t ignore your grandmother.”
I kept walking, and then I saw Ginny. “Ginny! Cookie?”
“Thanks. What do you have.”
“ASR. Walk with me?”
“Sure. These are good.”
“Thank you. I even added the right amount of flour this time.”
“Good job. Do you normally not?”
“Well, last time I only added a cup, and they were kind of flat. Oh, I am going to be so late to science. I was talking to Mario, and I go sidetracked, which I, erm, tend to do…”
“Haha.”
Then, I saw Nyx and Avon. “Hi! Nyx! You know how yesterday I was talking to Vicky about Mario, and we were all, omg! Typos!”
“Yeah…”
“I told Mario!”
“You did not.”
“I did!”
“You’ll have to tell me more later.”
“Okay. Bye!”

New Color Scheme

I like it, at the moment. I think it's a bit more eye catching.

I just tried to wipe an apostrophe off of my screen using my sleeve. Needless to say, I was unsuccessful.

The S.A.T. this morning was easy, but that's all I'm legally allowed to say, since I copied that silly paragraph in cursive. Avon was in my testing room, but I haven't seen her since. She will be pleased to know that she took more practice tests than Bryant (the smart twin whose first name contains none of the letters in Bryant), who took 8. I was sitting next to Dino, as always. It's the last name proximity, I guess. Fortunately, he's not a loud test taker. Otherwise, I probably would have done poorly on my Saturday Science admissions test, my CAPT tests, and, now, the SAT. He's the only person I've discussed the test with thus far, and he said the same thing I did. I did hear him talking to Jeremy afterwards, though, and Jeremy said he didn't even finish. Ha. I'm hoping that means he won't get into the Saturday Science next year (not that I would ever ill-wish anybody....*shifty eyes*)

Also, I just read Evil Genius, by Catherine Jinks, which I positively loved. Cadel, the boy genius in question, is a wonderful character. I kept expecting him to be a caricature of an overly smart teenage boy, but he really rounded out in the second half of the novel. The whole thing was very funny, as well. I love the fake schedule in the front and back. For instance, Cultural Appreciation is struck through, with "Forgery" scribbled above, and the teacher named "Art East." How fabulously punny. There are also a few subtle (hopefully intentional) Harry Potter references, which also made me smile.

All in all, a good day.

In addition: this is my This I Believe statement, and the introduction to my portfolio.

I wrote a This I Believe essay once before, back, so very long ago, when I was fourteen. “I believe in questions,” I wrote. “I once dreamed of being omniscient, but as I’ve grown and learned, everything seems further away. For every answer I find, a thousand more questions appear in my mind. There are also times when I don’t want the answer, when I would prefer to continue my life oblivious to the suffering around me. I like to have questions, gaps in my understanding, that, although I will never fill them, will forever provide me with a sense of comfortable emptiness.”

I’ve grown since then, far more than I would have thought was possible in a mere two years. When I first started high school, I loved questioning for the sake of questioning. Now, however, I prefer answers. A large part of this originates in my expanding understanding of science. Where I once saw questions, huge blanks in my understanding, I’m beginning to find answers. While these answers still inspire more questions- knowing that zinc finger proteins help stem cells resist viruses sends me on to how they work, why they evolved, and how they could be improved- these questions are merely another step in my path towards answers. I have a habit of doing in math class whatever the teacher has just informed me is impossible to do. Even though I can never answer everything, I can’t say that questions are better and stop trying. I have to look for answers, in school and in life. So now, I believe in answers.

In U.S., I started the year believing what I read. Then, we were taught to doubt it all, searching for bias. However, even though I can’t trust everything I read, I still need to use what I have to search for the truth, piecing together the answers I so badly desire. I can do this by reflecting, thinking, and looking inward. I also search for answers in science and math, trying to learn about how the world works, why things function, how all the little cogs within me fit together to make a living, breathing human being. In this portfolio, I’ll be using what I’ve learned from my science classes this year to explain what I’ve learned about myself in U.S. History.

Enjoy.

A.P. Assassination

Well, it's a good thing that Nyx and I didn't go for a spontaneous walk on the beach last night, because there was some creeping going on on my street. Clark, in my music theory class, was assigned to kill Aqua, my neighbor.

His first attempt was yesterday afternoon. He hid in her yard, but could only see legs and feet clearly. He saw someone in a white skirt walking down the driveway. When they began skipping, he jumped out and shot, certain that nobody but a teenager would skip. However, the skipper in question turned out to be Fae, Aqua's mother. She was terrified at first, but after she realize that it was someone in A.P. assassination, she calmed down, and politely asked Clark to come back when Aqua would be home, at such and such a time.

Clark's next plan was to surprise her in the morning, before she went to school. He drove down at two or three in the morning and climbed into what he thought was Aqua's car, which was unlocked. He fell asleep after a while, and finally woke up when Fae and the dog climbed into the car. "Oh!" she said, upon seeing Kevin. "It's wonderful how you're trying so hard, but Aqua uses that car."

Despite her help, however, Clark did not succeed in killing Aqua. She made it to her car without being shot, then saw him.

"Hi Clark."

"Hey."

"You trying to shoot me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you're a lot more into this than I am. You can just shoot me, if you want."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

So, Clark was the first person in this round to assassinate his target.

To complete this post, I leave you with another Spanish translation, this one of Harry Potter, who is played by Natalie. Avon is Hermione (of course), and I am the narrator and Draco.

Narrator (N): This year, the school Hogwarts, of magic and spell making, will have a championship between the four houses. It will not be like a quidditch competition, with seekers and chasers. Instead, the students will use enchantments and magic.
Harry (HP): Hermione, please, help me! I don't know how to prepare a solution for shrinking and I need to make it for the competition
Hermione (H): ¡Ay ay ay Harry, why did you not learn how to prepare a solution for shrinking in the class of potions? This magical solution is very easy.
Draca (D): I don't need the help of a girl who has dirty blood because I have the help of a phenomenal professor of Potions that is called Professor Snape.
H: Leave, Draco! Harry, you only will need a part of a magical creature, like a unicorn, and the feather of a big bird.
HP: I already bought the feather of a special bird when I went to the Flowing Cauldron the previous week. But I have a foot of a giant spider in place of unicorn.
D: With my magic wand and the correct ingredients of a solution of shrinking, I'm going to win this competition of magic.
H: The magic of Harry is stronger than the magic of you, Draco.
HP: Yes, I am going to practice my magic and I will win this magical competition.
N: Then, Hermione and Harry go to the Flowing Cauldron, but Draco follows.
HP: ¡Look, Hermione, delicious frogs of chocolate! I want to buy them.
D: I saw that Harry bought the frogs of chocolate, and I went to the store of articles of pranks. I bought something I could use to pull a prank. We will see who has the strongest magical abilities in the competition tomorrow. I'm sure that I will win against Harry Potter.

(Draco leaves)

H: I think that Draco will use the Dark Arts in the competition.
HP: I know some counterspells that can protect me against the Dark Arts of Draco. Don't worry yourself.
H: You need to practice for the tournament, Harry. Gryffindor is not going to win without you. Obtain your cape of invisibility and we can visit Hagrid in order to learn about the magical creatures that you will fight in the competition.

(The two leave and Draco enters)

D: ¡Harry Potter no would not compete in the tournament if he were to eat his frogs of chocolate!

HP: I have hunger, but I also have the championship in few minutes. What can I do?

H: Here, Harry. Eat the frogs of chocolate.

HP: Thanks, Hermione.

N: Harry took a bite of the frog of chocolate.

HP: AAAhhhh! My teeth, my teeth! I hurt my teeth and I have a magical ailment!

H: The frog has turned into a rock! I need to make a spell in order to repair your mouth.

*reparo*

HP: I feel well. Now, I can compete in the competition.

-The End-

Dracula

is officially the most boring book ever.

Today, I had my A.P. music theory exam, which went better than I expected, but I suppose I'll have to wait and see. Afterwards, Avon, Nyx and I (I has good grammar, see!) went to the diner and got lunch. We stayed there for about an hour, bought next to nothing, and then spent ten minutes sitting at the table waiting for them to come take out money because we forgot that you're supposed to go up there to pay. It was rather comical, actually.

Then, I had about an hour at home before I had to go back to school for a gala rehearsal. However, it turned out that there weren't enough people, so the conductor canceled the entire number and I got to leave early. Unfortunately, there was still an hour and fifteen minutes to go before my parents could come to pick me up. So, I wandered the school for a while before settling down in the lobby of the auditorium, where it was nice and quiet. The only activity for about half an hour was Josh repeatedly walking out one door of the auditorium, past me without noticing I was there, then back into a different one.

After I had read about two chapters, activity increased. First, Ryan walked by, apparently giving a tour ("Are there separate wings for each grade?""Um, kind of. Well, no, actually."). Then, Adrian and Jun walked by, talking about some complicated math problem. I assumed engineering team had just gotten out, and thought nothing of it. Then, to my surprise, Mario, Irving, Theo, and a junior whose name I don't know came walking down the hall, discussing another, equally complicated sounding math problem.

I tried to read for a while more, but I could still hear them distantly talking, and really, eavesdropping is far more interesting than Dracula, and I still had 45 minutes to kill, so I picked up my book and strolled nonchalantly down the hallway. As I got closer, I could hear Theo talking to our science research teacher, Dr. Breese ("I have all sixes," he frequently reminds her). I talked to her for a minute before walking around Mario, Irving, and the unknown junior and settling down on a bench to listen in. Unfortunately, their conversation was entirely boring and related to replaying some problem from their A.P. test, and when Mario finally realized I was there and talked to me for about a minute and a half, that conversation was also boring. Really, the only entertaining thing was that after Mario left, an unknown freshman asked the unknown junior something about Mario, and they came to the conclusion that Mario is "like, a genius or something."

Beyond that, my day was uneventful.

I leave you with another essay.

One man can have a great effect on society. However, apparently one woman can't, seeing as I don't reference any females at all in this essay. As a form of protesting my own lack of gender neutral pronouns, I will not post this essay, and will instead leave you with this, a study that I really, really don't want to believe.

Dialogo

A Literal Translation of my latest spanish dialogue:

Narrator (N): For many years, the Marquis had the wish to kill the servant who had torn the fan of his wife.

Marquis (M): Today, I am happy that I can finally complete my goal.

N: The servant didn't know that his life was soon going to end.

Servant (S): You're blocking where I need to walk in order to obtain my serving platter.

M: You tore the fan of my wife many years ago.

S: I only tripped. I don't thing that I have culpability.

N: Like a lightning-bolt, the Marquis took the serving platter and began to fight with the servant

*the boy playing the waiter grabbed the platter and began hitting the boy playing the waiter over the head with it. Needless to say, I, the narrator, was laughing*

S: I hope that I win this important fight and that you lose.

M: You are an arrogant man and I recommend that you surrender.

N: The fight continued for some minutes, but at the end, the Marquis didn't vacillate and killed the servant.

M: Finally, I am capable of avenging myself of the servant!

N: Then, the Marquis left from the scene of the murder and went to his house.

Condesita (C) *played by Avon*: Hello, my good looking spouse. How are you? My god! You have blood on your hands! You have tripped?

M: I spoke to a man that I abhor. Now, he is not in the life.

C: I hope that you did not kill a man when you were at the embassy today.

Son (S): Dad, you killed the servant? I have wishes to see the body!

C: I hope nobody finds the body of the dead.

N: All the people of the family had a lot of fear. The Marquis recommended that the family flee the country.

C: We should change our names and flee the country.

S: Let's form a group of the freestyle rap music!

C: What a good idea, son.

N: Then, the family moved to Detroit and participated in many rap competitions.

M: My family, we have won many competitions and tomorrow is the big championship. How would you like to celebrate?

S: I want to go to the zoo in order to see the elephants.

N: While they were at the zoo, an elephant ate the family *(at this point, I was laughing so hard I had to stop and attempt to gather myself before spitting out comió)

C: We are in the stomach of the elephant and the championship is tomorrow. What are we going to do?

N: The family hoped that they could go to the competition, but they didn't leave from the stomach for ten years, and finally, they went out.

M: How good that now we are not in the stomach of an elephant.

S: Yes, I have much hunger because I have not eaten for ten years. I want sweets.

C: Good, son. Let's go to the store in order to obtain sweets that you can eat.

S: The sweets are very pleasing to me and I abhor the elephants.

M: Yes, never are we going to go to the zoo another time.

C: It is evident that the rap doesn't function for our family. We need to form a team of badminton!

THE END

The other presentations included one in which the Condesita is sitting with her husband (the Marquis) and her daughter, when the man she is having an affair with appears (handily gripping a rose between his teeth to denote his status as a Don Juan). The Condesita decides she likes the other man better, so the Dad kills himself dramatically and the daughter cries unconvincingly.

In another, the narrator came armed with a guitar. Archie wore a blonde wig to play the Condesita, and he and his hubby started a basketball team with ten of their eleven children. the eleventh wants to be a singer, so delivers most of his lines in song while the narrator plays guitar (yo amoooo tiiii, etc.). Unable to cope with his athletic parents' disapproval, the boy steals their money and runs. His parents don't hesitate to buy firearms and follow him, and the boy booby traps the path behind him. His father falls in a booby trap and dies (dramatically, of course), so Archie takes it upon himself to shoot the son, who also dies (dramatically, of course).

In another, Dino (short for dinosaur) plays the Marquis and must choose between John (he has a female twin) and Sonny (also a guy). Sonny spends the entire time devising devious tricks to get Dino to leave John, but in the end, Dino announces that he really just loves John, and hugs him.

It was all very silly.