-nice use of polysyndeton
-nice us of concrete details
-so much that's conceptually interesting here
-(He was 16 (maybe? less showy anyway))
-well-put
-unneeded?
-too clichéd?
-you might play with asyndeton here
-good sentence length variation
-was
-or just "couldn't sleep"
-I'm a little confused
-good use of great litotes.
-this is great
-(is this needed?)
-same question
-I love this repetition
-great
-beautiful description
-good
-good use of polysyndeton
-good
-good
-love the evanescence
-i love this
-great
-then
-great close
Me? Self-indulgent? Never (insert shifty eyes here)
Those (shifty eyes that unfortunately break my html block) are called shifty eyes. I learned them from Andy, whose name I can't figure out how to pronounce but I suppose I'll have to learn eventually.
And, to finish this off, I'm going to add another mindbender. The dwellings one is just never going to end, unfortunately. I'm sure you're *very* disappointed.
"We turn to stories and pictures and music because they show us who and what and why we are, and what are relationship is to life and death, what is essential, and what,despite the arbitrariness of falling beams, will not burn." -Madeline L'Engle
I must say, great use of polysyndeton. Oh, yeah, it's saying we learn from art. Books help us discover who we are, what we fear, and just help us understand stuff, like, in general. Remind me to practice these intro things for the ACTs.
New Moon, by Midori Snyder, is an awesome book in which Jobber succeeds only by understanding herself. I would go into detain about the climax of the book, but I wouldn't want to spoil it, so I won't. The theme of the story is that the tools to save others already reside inside us; all that remains is to find them. This explains how we truly are and makes the art meaningful.
Stories also allow those of us still in the plane of the living to comprehend death. The Christian bible uses Jesus, the Greek myths se Hades' realm, and, weirdly, my saved version of the mindbender ends here, with the sentence "The better people are allowed to drift freely, floating like browned leaves, while the more nefarious are given painful punishments that will last an eternity."
How decidedly odd.
3 comments:
If I died as an old lady and my great-great-great grandmother died as a little girl, does that mean that I'll be floating around old and she'll be floating around young?
Or do we not have consciousness of others when we're floating?
I also really like polysyndeton.
if i'm a floating leaf, i never want to hit the ground. let the wind take me away, across the oceans, into space. never let me fall.
where did you get the sweatpants? you could buy a pair for mario for his birthday.
Mario's birthday is in October. I was also slightly disturbed by the concept of what he would DO with your sweatpants.
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