Homework

I swear to god, all this work is eating me up. I'm on my sophomore year- it shouldn't be this bad! It's ridiculous that to find classes that are challenging enough for me mentally, I'm basically forced to give up my emotional well being in favor of the endless stream of homework assignments. Yes, I could, theoretically, take easier classes, but I've done it before, and it generally leaves me both bored and ostracized. I made it through middle school- I do not want to experience anything remotely like that again.

In marginally better news, one week and two days until the first day of the Science Honors Program, and I am so excited. Yes, the fact that I am psyched to ride on a train into new york and learn science is incredibly nerdy, but according to Newsweek, the girl nerd is 'hot', so me and my 5'9" of gangly limbs are ready to prove them right, I suppose. If I could just figure out how to put on eyeliner...

Chilean Teenagers

Did anyone else read this article in the times today?

Basically high-school aged kids (well, my age, but whatever) go to parties and try to hook up with as many strangers as possible.

I could see having one random hookup, but four or five? Look, I'm as horny as the next chick, but even I don't really want to go to a huge party and hook-up with people I don't know. I'm more for specifically directed lust than this sort of general longing. Of course, this is today, while I have my period and am crampy and pissed off. There is a fairly good chance that in a few days I would love to be getting me some unknown boy's ass.

But actually related to the teenagers, if they want to do this, I don't really mind, but I feel like if all these kids are doing this, they're missing out on actual relationships. And it's slightly creepy with the younger kids.

For instance the girl in this pic. Here's the description "Maria Paz, 13, waits with her friends to enter an afternoon party in Santiago." Thirteen! That's in middle school! When I was in middle school, I thought boys were cute, sure, but wasn't that, um, sexually aware. She reminds me of those little girls caused by the Lolita Effect. (good book. I'll talk about that later, I think)

whatever

ZZZzzz

I am tired as shit. Basically since I got home I've been doing homework and procrastinating my homework. I really need to work on that... tomorrow I'll truly try to finish by eight.

In other news, vanadium batteries sound pretty cool. There was an article in Discover about them. Basically, they have V(+2-5) on different sides of a membrane and they're allowed to oxidize. I learned the basic scientific principles in chemistry but I don't really get how it works.

Pit orchestra tryout on friday. I'm playing Dr. Gradus from Debussey's Children's Corner on the piano, and sight-reading something. We'll see how it goes, but if I don't get in, I'll probably cry, seeing as it's practically the only thing I do outside of school.

This is a pathetique blog. Unless I'm doing issues, I shouldn't bother. tooth brushing and journal, here I come!

Doing School

Gah! reading Doing School (by Denise Clark Pope) for US History and its got me really stressed out. Basically, the author follows around these kids with high gpas at Faircrest high, which is an insanely overachieving school. Basically, they spend a ton of time doing homework and extracurriculars and have no lives.

The problem with it is that it is wayyy to similar to my life. My school sounds a lot like Faircrest, and I'm too much like the kids in it. I don't mean to be- it's just the way I am.

I was born with the ability to read quickly, test well, and remember easily. I'm not sure how much help it'll be in the real world, but its a blessing in high school.

I didn't originally set out to get good grades, but just by doing my homework and some minimal studying, I do. And unfortunately, I love to learn and can't stand a boring class, so I'm taking four honors courses and one that's kind of an independent study, plus art, music theory, and gym. I love my classes when I'm in them; I just hate the homework.

The culture in all the tough courses is so inhibitive. A lot of kids are constantly stressing over grades and college and whatnot, and most of my friends think that a good school is necessary for a good life. I know that its not, and I know I want to be independent and happy, but I don't know how to pull myself away. Everything will just keep chugging along until I'm sitting at a lab bench all day and going home to an empty, too small apartment. It's terrifying. I'd love to be in that lab someday, but I'm young; I need happiness, passions, love, friends.

Maybe I'll take a gap year and pull myself away from it all; I could do some volunteer work, play piano, paint, learn some grammatical links other than semicolons.

It'll be good.

I'll work on that. I'll keep at it through high school, but remember that there's more long-term value in the world outside the classroom.

I refuse to be sucked in.

Day 1

Well, I guess I have myself a blog. I suppose I should write something...

Book-wise, I read A Company of Swans, by Eva Ibbotson

and hey- does this do pictures? lets see, there's a little thingy on the toolbar and yay! there it is. Classic romance novel, blabity blah blah, but good. No throbbing loins or anything particularly racy, sadly, but still, nice to read.

I feel somewhat ridiculous writing a blog that no one will ever read, but why not?

I should get back to my homework assignment though (I'm a highschooler in a high level english class...it happens)

I have to use literary references to explain the statement:

"No matter how far you go, you stay where you are."

well, in Remembering Hearts, by Patricia Clawbury, Annette ran from Gustav and St. Petersburg to France, but she could escape from her constant love of Gustav. Even though she traveled great distances, St. Petersburg and her heart remained with her, keeping her where she was. After much pain and suffering, she returns to Gustav, and the two make mad, passionate love. The reader assumes the book is over, but then- an epilogue! Annette has six kids but is still happy and making eyes at Gustav, showing that her love for him remains after travel and time, just like the statement, which isn't really related...

whatever