December 28, 2009

Facebook Reminders


Facebook has determined that nobody should have to w(h)ile (I looked it up, the h is optional) away the hours on their own homepage without being contacted. I believe that the primary motivation is to keep friendless emo children from becoming bitter and offing themselves.

It has apparently decided that Mario is "at risk." Well, it's either that or it's realized that I've looked at his profile far more often than I've actually written anything to him, but I don't think it's designed to do that. I mean, I don't facebook stalk my parents or my cousin, and they still show up as being poor little lonely people every so often. That's never with the tenacity of this suggestion though.

It's been going on for two days, every single time I open up my facebook. Reconnect with him. Send him a message. Share the latest news. Say hello. Write on his Wall.

Because a frequent reminder of him is exactly what I need.

I eventually got so sick of this that I switched to English (Pirate), so at least the reminders are more entertaining. Divvy spoils with yer friend. Scrawl on pirate's Plank. Send a parrot to squawk at him. Keep ye eye on th' sea dog. Greet the land-lubber. Trade pirate stories o' the seven seas.

It's a shame that facebook can't remember if Mario is a land-lubber or a pirate.

2 comments:

Jackie said...

Don't worry, I'm also pretty creeped out by the recurrence of my old sailing captain on what I shall now dub the Emo List, mainly because I think him being depressed is a legitimate concern. But, I really think that the List is designed by Facebook to draw unenthusiastic users back into their spiderweb with clicking pincers...The Captain's facebook he made as a joke, and he never uses it, so I think the macro for choosing who to put on the List is directly proportional to how rarely each of your friends uses facebook. The most negligent users are posted, maybe Mario has been ignoring the interwebs.

Gretchen said...

i don't get it...what's pirate?

last year, facebook kept telling me to friend meaf (english teacher from last year)...