February 8, 2010

Explicit Conversations (PENIS!)

Gretchen, you may prefer not to read these.

I was sitting at a table in the library with Tybalt, Kathrya, Boris, and Bryant during my free today. Eccentrius came over, sat on the table, and began talking to Martin. I was listening a little to Tybalt and Kathrya, and Bryant was doing homework. Eccentrius leaned over to Boris and said, "hey, do you know Martin?

"Yeah, why?" responded Boris.

"Have you seen him?"

"I said I know him."

"No. Have you seen him."

Boris simply looked at him.

"Martin" said Eccentrius, in something between a stage whisper and his normal voice,
"has a big penis."


"His dick is huge! Seriously."

"Why would you say something like that?"

"Because it's true!"

"Right, like you would know."

"Oh. I know."

"What, do you look at him in the locker room or something?"

"You don't?"

"Of course not!"

"Why not?"

"It's weird!"

At that point, I started cracking up and leaned over into Kathrya, interrupting her conversation with Tybalt. She joined my hysterical laughter for a moment before asking what was so funny.

"I'll tell you later," I wheezed.

A bit later, after Eccentrius had, much to Boris's relief, left, Kathrya said something about Mario and his man-crush on Irving and added that Tybalt had some support for that, leading him to launch into a story from his weekend:

So, on Saturday, we were all hanging out working on the challenge stuff, and Mario was on facebook, and, right before he x-ed out, Irving came over and wrote in his status is considering cock? but Mario didn't notice and closed the window anyways. Then the rest of us were cracking up, and he was like "What? What? What's funny?" and someone told him to check his facebook. He opened it up and, completely straight-faced, he read the message. He didn't react at all- he just clicked on it and replaced it with is sucking Irvings fat brown dick and closed the window. We were staring at him and said "Mario, you know people can see that, right?" and he was like, eh, whatever, they won't think it's me. Then, about ten minutes later, Irving gets a text from Melissa telling him he ought to look at Mario's status.

End of story.


Gretchen said...

dammn it.
i read it. even though you told me not to.