Too Many Questions You Probably Don't Want To Read

How did you meet Dino?

Freshman year, in Spanish class. He would wait outside the room doing his rubix cube before class.

What would you do if you had never met Genie?

Be sisterless and alone.

What would you do if Dora and Harry dated?

I would be very enthusiastic, but I would also try to get her to get him to keep up with his new haircut. I would feel guilty for coveting my friend's boyfriend.

If you could marry either Genie and Ginny who will it be?

Well, lesbianism is marginally more legal than incest, so Ginny it is. Can I wear the dress?

Did you ever like Tybalt?

I am of the opinion that you can't see him shirtless and not like him a little bit. I mean, for me personally, almost any geeky guy that isn't all skin and bones is enough (i.e. Bryant and his skinny elbows. I swear to god, they look like you could snap them with a toothpick. It's terrifying!)

Have you ever seen Kathrya cry?

No, I have not, but if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here.

Would Kathrya and Melissa make a good couple?

No. Unequivocally no. Kathrya, she is really mean to her friends behind their backs, and, also, she's shorter than you. I forbid it.

Would number Mario and Nyx make a good couple?

Hahahahhaa. Only Mario number one. Number four is way too annoying, and eight is mine.

Describe Shelby:

Average height, with more curves than any twelve-year-old should be allowed to have. She's obsessed with her appearance, but also with art. She's completely incapable of sitting still. She's at times hilarious, and, at others, difficult to relate to.

Do you like Bryant?

I don't really know him, but I certainly don't have anything against him.

Tell me something about Melissa:

She's quitting SHP. Which is sad, because now the only person I'll be able to talk to is Mario. And even that's iffy at best.

What’s Julie’s favorite color?

uhhhh.....red?

What would you do if Mario just confessed they liked you?

I wouldn't believe him. Then I would ask which Mario he was, and how Scarlett is doing. I would then go home and beat my head into a pillow at my stupidity at not seizing the situation regardless of his motivations.

When was the last time you talked to Harry?

Right after the last Guys and Dolls. The conversation is fully transcribed in an earlier post, but was sorely limited on his end.

How do you think Cammie feels about you?

I think she is my friend and feels that I am funny and nice and wonderful and awesome and other good things.

What language does Avon speak?

English, Spanish on occasion, and whatever language Lysander is capable of responding in.

Who is Nyx going out with?

Nyx is in love with a box of saltines.

What grade is Irving in?

12th. What kind of a boring question is this, anyways?

What is Vicky’s favorite music?

Who knows. And, to be honest, I don't really care. I feel like music is kind of a personal thing. I love the idea of silent raves, where everyone gets to choose their own soundtrack.

Would you ever date Avon?

She's lovely, but I don't think she'd go for it.

Is Lysander single?:

I don't know, Avon, is he? *bats eyelashes innocently*

What is Dino’s last name?

He's my name-cousin!

Where does Harry Potter live?

HOGWARTS!

What do you think about Dora?:

Dora is an absolute sweetheart and gives really good hugs, especially when one is grieving over a dead dog.

What is the best thing about Scarlett?

Well, Mario's rather fond of her, so she must have some redeeming quality. Avon informs me that she's very nice.

What would you like to tell Ginny right now?:

You are an awesome friend and I adore you.

How did you meet Tybalt?

Elementary school is a very long time ago.

What is the best and worst thing about Nyx?

She's a great friend, always willing to listen, but also capable of having fun. Her worst is that annoying propensity towards physical activity. No, Nyx, I do not want to hike the Appalachian Trail with you.

Are you going to know Gretchen forever?

I certainly hope so.

How long have you known Harry (the real one)?

Since sixth grade. He was in Workshop and my computer class. In Workshop I adored him-I don't remember what he said, but my ribs still ache when I think of how hard I laughed while playing monopoly. In computer I didn't like him because he swore a lot.

Who is Rube?

Rube is my lab partner from SHP last year. He is also my friend.

Are you or did you ever date Nyx?

No. If she rolled that way, she'd already be married to Tawny.

Do you have a crush on Richard?

Never have, probably never will. He just oozes some anti-crush hormone or something.

Would you kiss Caleb?

Considering I wouldn't even talk to him, definitely not.

Have you hugged/kissed Archie?

No. Although I might have hugged him in that dream in which we lived out a sick-nasty sci-fi novel.

Would you like to hug/kiss Ms. Seltzia?

I'd hug her, and I have before, but I always find hugging teachers to be awkward.

Is Rachel your gff?

Urban Dictionary has an inconclusive definition. I deny the existence of this term.

What do you hate about Benny?

That he strung along Nyx. That jerk.

What’s your relationship with Tierra?

I suppose she's a friend, but she's really more of a friend of friends. I wouldn't lean on her shoulder during times of need.

What’s the best memory you have of Dino?

His dedication to start being nicer. Oh, wait, he broke that resolution in under three hours. I suppose it'll have to be Javier, then.

When’s the next time you’re gonna see Ginny?

Tuesday, when we're back at school.

Is Dora pretty?

Gorgeous. When I first met her in sixth grade, I described her to my mother as "Dora, this really pretty Asian girl," and my mother said that she must be really pretty, cause I don't say stuff like that very often.

What was your first impression of Harry?

I thought he was really cute. Granted, I was eleven, but he was pretty dang adorable.

How did you meet Genie?

Well, when my parents brought her home from the hospital...

Is Ginny your best friend?

One of 'em.

Have you seen Tybalt in the last month?

Yes. In fact, I saw him yesterday. Shocking, isn't it?

Do you think Kathrya has a crush on you?

Most definitely. Marry me, darling. I'll give you my shirt!

When was the last time you saw Melissa?

Math team on Tuesday, when she told me she was quitting SHP. Farewell, unfine unfriend.

Have you ever been to Mario’s house?

No, but we drove him home once last year, so I know where it is. Well, I have a vague idea. It's hard to remember.

When’s the next time you’ll see Nyx?

Tuesday, in school. Fun, fun, fun.

Have you ever gotten in trouble with Shelby?

Please. I don't get in trouble. I'm perfect.

What do you and Bryant talk about the most?

Yeah, Bryant and I- we don't really talk.

Do you even know Julie?

Quite well, thank you.

Would you give Cammie a hug?

But of course! And I do, quite often.

Are you in love with Avon?

Nope, sorry darling. You'll have to soldier on without my amor (look! I'm practicing Spanish!).

Do you know a secret about Irving?

Nope.

Describe the relationship between Vicky and Lysander.

Do they know each other?

What is the best thing about your friendship Harry Potter?

You have no idea how much I wish I were actually friends with him. Actually, not really. I'd rather be friends with Hermione. Now that is an awesome girl. I would call her my gff, but I still don't know what that means.

Have you ever danced with Scarlett?

See, I've never actually met Scarlett.

How long have you known Gretchen?

Since the sixth grade. We were in the same math class second semester.

Have you ever been in a fight with Rube?

No. No, I have not. I'm not really the fighting type.

Have you ever wanted to punch Richard in the face?

I'm going to be completely honest here and say that I've never felt the slightest inclination to do so.

Has Caleb ever met your mother?

No, and, with any luck, he never will.

How did you meet Archie?

He was in exactly half of my classes freshman year, so he was kind of hard to miss. I thought he looked like Julian.

Did you ever accidentally physically hurt Ms. Seltzia?

I don't think so?

What is the best memory you have with Rachel?

I'm thinking. Still thinking. Maybe when I cited her on my end of quarter rubric?

Do you live close to Benny?

This would be easier to answer if I knew where he lives.

Out of all 30, who do you think is the funniest?

Vicky, or Cammie, or Kathrya, or Genie, or.....I don't know, I have too many funny friends.

Who is the most flirtatious?

Benny. That was easy.

Say something nice about Tierra.

Something nice about Tierra.

Which one lives the farthest away?

Harry Potter lives in a fictitious universe, so I'm going with him. Or he lives in England, if we say he exists, which is also far. Among the rest, either Caleb or Rube.

Which one do you hang out with the most?

That doesn't live in my house? Nyx.

The quietest?

Reportedly Scarlett, but I don't know her so I can't really say. From my information, Harry. Goddamned boy doesn't believe in opening his mouth.

Have you traveled anywhere with Kathrya?

The diner. Does that count?

If you gave Dino $100 dollars tonight, what would they spend it on?

I have no clue, actually. He seems like the hoarding type to me, so maybe he just wouldn't spend it.

Have you ever kissed Tybalt?

No. No, I have not.

Are you really close to Dora?

If you view things on a micro scale, she's on the other side, but on a universal level, we are on the same planet.

Have you ever been to the movies with Harry?

Nope.

What would happen if you put Dino and Melissa in a room together?

They'd kill each other. I'm not kidding. There is a significant quantity of loathing present between those two.

If you could change one thing about Bryant what would it be?

I'd fatten him up a little and try to encourage social inclinations.

Are you older than Irving?

No, Irving has a year on me.

Have you gotten “sexual” with Vicky?

I'm lucky to even hug her, let alone "get sexual," at term which, by the way, sounds more than vaguely creepy.

If you were to go to a wedding would you take Avon?

Sure. Avon, you know anyone who's getting married?

If you were crying would Shelby cheer you up?

Most definitely.

If you found out that Mario and Cammie were going out, what would you do?

I would pester her with questions about Voldy, his bits, and his numerical identification tattoos.

Have you slept in any of their beds?

I don't think so.

Have any of them ever spent the night at your house?

A good chunk of them, yes.

Who did you go to the movies with last?

Genie and Shelby. AVATAR.

Who have you known the longest?

Genie.

Who will you always be friends with no matter what?

Genie, again.

Would you help Lysander out in a fight?

The idea of me being an asset in a fight is comical.

Is Gretchen single?

Without a doubt.

Would you donate an organ to save Genie’s life?

Without a second thought.

Does Bryant know a secret about you?

I don't think so. I hope not. I'm not really sure what secret he could have found out, or what secrets I even have that aren't already in the public sphere.