October 18, 2009

Reading Today

is Dean Koontz's The Good Guy. It's fairly suspenseful, but also has some rather horrific prose. Below are a few gems from the first one hundred twenty seven pages.
  • His preference for simplicity was so strong that he might have been happy as a monk in a particularly spartan monastery, except that monks were not permitted to murder people
  • Rooney looked like a black-belt wannabe who, though never having taken a karate lesson, had tried to break a lot of concrete blocks with his face.
  • If a spirit could be weighed and measured, Max would have proved to be bigger than his house.
For some reason, the character descriptions strike me as funny. Perhaps this is due to the rather drawn out metaphors.

Speaking of which, I think I'll add a Bulwer-Lytton to the bottom of this, just for a laugh. At the very least, it'll make me laugh.

"The moment he laid eyes on the lifeless body of the nude socialite sprawled across the bathroom floor, Detective Leary knew she had committed suicide by grasping the cap on the tamper-proof bottle, pushing down and twisting while she kept her thumb firmly pressed against the spot the arrow pointed to, until she hit the exact spot where the tab clicks into place, allowing her to remove the cap and swallow the entire contents of the bottle, thus ending her life." -Artie Kalemeris