July 2, 2009

What happens when Tea is on gchat and nobody else is

is that she attacks her friends with long, intense monologues, like the one below. Be forewarned, I discuss grossness possibly on par with the tampon lesson.


VICKYYY

why (YYY) are you never online when you totally should be?

hmph

I'm going to tell you a story about facebook and mario, then

in hopes that you come online

and give me advice

before Nyx does

okay

so

remember my blog post

about my little cousins

Kat and May?

so

I may have possibly told mario that story

on facebook

well

i did

I wrote the following

"my little cousins were flipping through my facebook friends a few minutes ago, and they started arguing about you. Kat, who is 10, declared that you are "omigawd, so hot!" and the eight year old, may, said "no! he is not cute at all!" I told them I didn't need their opinions on the looks of all of my facebook friends, so they finally ran off.
Just thought you would find that entertaining. Did you hear if anyone got into the SHP for next year?"

then

a day and a half later (at almost midnight) mario finally wrote backk

"its too bad kat is only 10 years old...just kidding. as far as I know only Irving was accepted. keep me posted"

and that was tuesday night

so I really need to come up with a good response

asap

"I should berate you for making a joke like that about my cousin, but it was funny enough that I won't. Besides, she'd probably get mad at you herself, since she's at a point in time where she thinks boys have cooties (although she finds nothing wrong with devising elaborate plans she thinks I should be asking you out with. Weird kid). And I'm not surprised that Irving got in, but when you say "only irving" do you mean that he'sthe only one you asked, or the only one who got in?"

that's what I have so far

but

well

is that too long of a response? He always comes back with like two sentences, and I don't know how to be more succinct.Or should I cut the bit about Kat's elaborate schemes or no, because they are actually pretty funny.And, and,and

gahhh

I'm so bad at this

this is worse than when I was talking to caleb

and

VICKYYYY

if you don't come back soon

I'm going to share a gross medical story

actually

I think I might just post it on my blog

I'm trying to decide

It's kind of a funny story

see, I have/had this weird little mole thing on my right boob

and one time

it got yellow and it hurt

so i squeezed it and pus came out

it was exciting

anyways

it only appeared in february

so I told my doctor

and she said i should get it checked out by a dermatologist

which I'm going to on tuesday

but anyways

it hurt again today

so I squeezed it

and this weird thing came out

it was all hard, like a rock, but really small

like the size of one of those little glass/plastic beads

the teeny tiny ones

so I wrapped up in a towel, and went to show my parents the weird thing

cause my dad works on an ambulance

and is good with medical sturr

stuff

and he was like

"that's really weird. I have no idea"

so I showed it to mom

and she said to save it

and bring it to the dermatologist on tuesday

so now I have a weird thingy

in a plastic container

on my bed

and on tuesday

I get to go to the dermatologist

and be like

"this thing came out of my boob"

that'll be fun

and

yeah

sorry

if you didn't want to hear that

cause it was fairly disgusting

and

oh!

O

I'll see you tomorrow!!!!

I'm excited

and

I

will

stop

no

w

now

i mean

yeah

byeeee

10 comments:

Gretchen said...

haha you typed all that and she never came on??
wow
well, i'm not sure what to tell you about the weird mole thing.
as for mario...
did you ask around to see who else got in?
idk, maybe tell him a short funny story about your vacation?
i really have no clue

vicky/bruney said...

AHHHH!!!! I had to remove my last comment due to name contamination...I leaked Mario's true name!!!

WELL I ALREADY READ your post!!! I was actually out too! Not just invisible! So, to punish you for recycling this,I'll post the comment I left to you on gmail...!!!

this is an excerpt:

"WOW...can't advise you with the bead-boob problem...perhaps you got your nipple pierced when you were a baby and your parents never told you about it and then the bead became embedded in your boob and yeah...plausible, right?

Also, does mario know you are enamored with him b/c if not, it may come as a bit of a surprise that your cousin is devising schemes for you to ask him out...I can see the conversation playing out like this:
Maio: so what are some of these schemes? (thinking: why does Tea's entire extended family know about me?")
Tea: well I may have divulged that I have been in love with you since the beginning of SHP...
mario: (leans in to kiss you) want to go see an open heart dissection?
(that really seems like something you guys should do for a 1st date)...

anyway...I think you should tell him that his picture is on a food machine at the YMCA...i think that's soooo cool"

Tea said...

my cousin did that entirely without knowing that I'm enamored with him, actually, but I did end up taking that part out, for fear of exposing said enamoration.

Gretchen said...

nerd love
how cute

does he have a girlfriend?

Tea said...

who?

Gretchen said...

mario

Tea said...

oh. well, he went to prom with some senior who only came up to his shoulder. He doesn't have a relationship status listed on his facebook. If he has a girlfriend, she has never written on his facebook wall, either (as far as I can tell, nobody writes on his wall).
So probably not. But when I told Bette, my camp friend, that he went to prom, she said "were they 'friends' or just friends" and I nearly went catatonic.

vicky/bruney said...

OMG...I just reread the post...NAME CONTAMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!! wooOOOwoooOOOooowoOOOOo (siren) you said Irving's real name!!!!

ok...now that that is over.I've calmed down, I'm sure more people than just Irving got in though. Irving is soooooo smart. He's the other business manager with me of our newspaper and yea, he's smart. How sad would it be if Mario didn't get in?...the train smooch sessions would come to an abrupt halt... :(

Tea said...

Mario and I are both automatically in, so ha! And I'm going to go edit Irving back to Irving.

Jackie said...

i second the open heart dissection...vicky, you should write screenplays.