End of the Fatzone

Well, I said I was going to blog, so I'm feeling this compulsion to, well, actually blog. But at the same time, life feels rather boring, and I don't feel as if I have much to say.

I had a bizarre dream last night. I was on the rag, but I still definitely has sex (should be noted that I only remember the aftermath but not not the actual activity) with my dream-boyfriend, who was super attractive and very innocent looking but actually a prostitute. Then he became friends with my mom. I woke up, and my first thought was "holy *expletive* I didn't use a condom and I'm going to get an STD." My second thought was "oh, that was a dream." My third was "damn, he was attractive, too." Then I pressed the sleep button and I can't remember much else.

Math was fun, I guess. I like hard problems, the the one we did--the sum, from n=1 to n=44 of cos n/ sin n--was definitely difficult, at least for me. Gretchen seems to have permanently ditched us, though--Nyx overheard her suggesting to Dino that he could either pull up a desk or "sit with them." And, well, that stings, quite a bit, particularly since whenever she does bother to be with us she's perfectly wonderful. I know she's on some campaign to get Clara to go to college with her, but that doesn't make it sting any less.

The obesity presentation went fine, I think. I hope we do well, if only because I'd rather not get beaten. Plus, well, a little bit of money would be nice. A little bit of money is really always quite nice.

Brian apparently just asked Nyx if she used to date Tamir. I'm too busy laughing to finish writing this.

Dream Unweaverers Goes Live

Well, Nyx and I have gone and started a second blog. Now, I'm not going to start neglecting this one- I am a semioverachiever at heart, and that is not going to change any time in the foreseeable future. However, I appear to have suffered from a latent desire to interpret dreams. So, Nyx and I created Dream Unweaver, where we will, as you may have guessed, unweave your dreams.

Our first post went up today, and it's an interpretation of a dream of "Artemesia" that my loyal readers may have seen before. Never fret, however- more original material is forthcoming, and, if any of you have some dreams to share, give us a holler at dreamunweavers@gmail.com.

Days for Dreaming

Last night was the second in a row that was full of oddly vivid dreams. I'm still trying to figure out what, if anything, they mean.

Dream 1:

I walked into Spanish class, late, per usual. Gretchen was already there. There were laptops from the cows on all of the desks, and Tom sat behind me in Rae's desk, which I find strange, since I'd never noticed that he was in our class. I shrugged it off and logged into facebook on my laptop (which should have tipped me off that this was a dream, but, alas, it did not). I went to Tom's page, because I couldn't figure out why he had spontaneously showed up in my Spanish class. I started flipping through his profile pictures, and for some reason, I had the ability to change which photo was his profile picture, so I did. Then Gretchen started coughing violently and gesturing towards Tom, who could see over my shoulder at my screen and had turned bright red. I turned around to apologize, and his eyes got all huge and he looked the way he did in fifth grade that time he told my my braces looked nice, which is really the only old memory I have of him. The bell rang and Gretchen and I left class. I was still flipping out about what Tom thought of me.

I went up to physics on the third floor. The only faces I can remember are those of Tybalt, Genevieve (British, not in my physics class or any A.P. English) and Leda (in my gov class, used to be going to counties with Sergio but now has a boyfriend). Right before class ended, Tybalt kissed Leda and then confessed to having a massive crush on Genevieve.

We left class, and Tybalt, Gretchen and I were suddenly walking out of the cafeteria into the music wing. We all realized that we were going to miss our buses. Tybalt and Gretchen took off, speed demons that they are, and I tried to keep up, but these large crowds of Players and Orphenians, fully costumed, kept getting in my way. By the time I reached the orchestra room, Tybalt was long gone, and Gretchen had emerged out of the farther door and taken off running. By the time I reached the front entrance, I was the only one there, and the buses were gone.

End Dream 1.

Dream 2 is weirder. Much, much weirder. I promise you, it is nowhere near as inappropriate as the beginning makes it sound.

Dream 2:

Harry and I were both doing pit orchestra for Little Shop of Horrors, and for some reason still unknown to me, this entailed him staying in my room. I woke up in the morning and he was in the other bed and I started flipping out because I thought that I'd forgotten and gone to sleep naked for some reason. I stood up out of bed, panicked, but discovered that I was wearing cute green pj pants and a blue tank. However, the tank was kind of see through, so I decided I needed a different one. A newer, brighter blue tank top with conveniently built in bra was located on the foot of my bed, where I had presumably dumped it at some earlier time. After I took off the first tank top to swap, I looked into the TV on wheels like they had at the middle school that had been set up where my keyboard usually lives. I could say Harry reflected in it, standing behind me, frozen in place and staring at my reflection in the TV. He had slept in the same clothes that he always wears, a white t-shirt and somewhat too-short cargo pants. He decided that if I was changing, he should to, and by the time I had my arms lined up in the second tank, he'd swapped from a plain white t-shirt to one with these blueish glowing peacock feathers on it.

As I was putting on the second tank top, it turned into a dress and I got stuck, the entire skirt of the dress facing upside down around my head like a pathetically limp dog cone. I attempted to maneuver myself into it, but was unsuccessful. "Harry? Could you, uh, help?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure," he said, and pulled the tank down over my arms and torso. He didn't let go of my wrists. I looked up at him, confused, and his eyes had gone all brownish greenish, and they were swirling in a weirdly hypnotic manner. He said something unintelligible, containing the phrases "can't let go," "God," "Jesus," and something about loving arm muscles, which is absurd, because I hardly even have arm muscles. He started to back away, still clinging to me, and I followed him, entranced. He stopped after a step and leaned forward, closer and closer. When we were about two inches apart, I leaned forward and kissed him, a sloppy sort of first kiss in which all that happens are squished noses and lips pressed together, and for some reason I could feel the imprint of my braces on the inside of my lips, which is absurd, since I haven't had braces in years. I pulled back after an instant, and his eyes had turned pale blue and he looked like he was about to pass out. "Was that nice?" he asked.

"I don't know yet," I answered, and the entire dream shifted. Harry was gone, but I was still standing in my room, and I knew, somehow, that he would be back, and that I just had to kiss him again and we'd get further than that stupid clashing of metal on teeth. I opened the door and walked down the hall to the basement. There was a window that doesn't actually exist, and through it I could see Corbin Bleu's hair as he walked through the jungle that had sprung up behind my house. I had an abrupt fear that the Harry here had turned into Zac Efron, and I was very worried. I decided that I'd have to wait and see and I walked down the stairs. Sparky (Aqua's dog) and Rufus came running up the stairs as I descended. Purdy (she advised Becky to temporarily break up with her boyfriend to show him what was important) was down there. I asked her what I should do about Harry, she said she'd get back to me later, since she had an appointment.

Elaine (Julie's friend who is fond of lolita dresses) came down with a girl who was about ten years old; I assumed the girl was her daughter. The daughter and I tried to play chess, but none of the pieces were actual pieces, so I decided to transfigure them and pulled out my wand to do so. I tapped each in turn, but the bishops stubbornly refused to do anything, and the pawns remained little pieces of trash.

I woke up in a cold sweat, the only thought in my head that I had to find Harry.

Dreamboat

Aren't you all glad that my fascinatingly imaginative subconscious is acting up again? I had this one at four in the morning last night.

It was the last day of school. I was with Nyx, and she, for some reason, had to talk to one of her teachers, so I was walking with her. There was some point thing on her report card (it sounded like the middle school point system, kind of) and she had to go talk to one of her teachers. She had 128 out of a possible 130, and I remember wondering if I had done better than that, but, because she was older, she knew and I didn't. Also, I wanted to talk to Dr. Verona, my ASR teacher for next year, but I didn't know who he was.

Then, Avon and Vicky showed up. When Avon heard about Nyx's thing, she immediately started worrying that her points were also messed up, so went with her. Vicky came with me to the third floor. We went up the stairs that are near the Continuing Ed. office. As we neared the top, we could see all the science teachers walking in the other direction. The orchestra teacher, Mrs. Kilmer (the one I actually like) came up behind us and told us to go around somewhere. Vicky and I decided that we didn't really need to see the science teachers, so we left. Also, Vicky's hair had the texture it does when it's wet, but it had a glowing color worthy of a shampoo commercial.

We went down the stairs, and they morphed into ones that looked like the double flight that went from the 5th grade hallway to the cafeteria in the elementary school Nyx and I attended. They were very crowded. As we turned to go down the second flight, Mario, who had been coming up the stairs, caught my hand. Vicky was pulled down the stairs with the rest of the crowd, and Mario released me.

"Oh, hi, bye," I said. "Have a nice summer."

"You, too. I'll see you at SHP next year."

"Yes." I nodded, and Mario went in for a hug. I was a little bit surprised, but went along with it. When we hugged, his shirt changed from white to gray and he got a bit taller, so I couldn't see his face as well. After a suitably brief hug, I started to pull back, but his arms were still closed, so I closed mine again, and then he started to pull back, but my arms were closed, so he closed his again, and then I unsuccessfully tried to untangle myself one more time before just giving in and staying there. We both laughed.

"So," I said, jokingly. "When should I be letting go?"

His voice changed, becoming harsher. "Yesterday."

"Huh?" I was confused. He was all flirty, and now he wasn't, and, aside from that, we hadn't been hugging yesterday, so the comment didn't really make sense.

"Let go. Now." His voice was firm.

"Oh," I responded, a little bit hurt, and extricated myself from his arms. Dora then came up behind me.

"Tea!" she called.

"Dora!" I squealed, and we hugged. Mario and everybody else was gone.

"I'd stay and talk, but I have to catch my bus. Bye!" she said.

I stood there for a moment before remembering that I had to catch mine as well. I went to chase after her, but she had already vanished. I emerged from the cafeteria stairs into the entrance hall of Paperclip High School. Nyx and Avon were standing there. "Nyx!"

"What?"

"I have the most embarrassing story to tell you."

She laughed. I looked out for my bus, but they'd all left. I had missed my bus.

Then I woke up. I felt more distressed when I woke than I felt the time I woke up in the middle of explaining to Peter's mother that Peter was dead.

Interpretations?

Interpretations

My first though is that there is some sort of competition going on (hence the boats from sailing team) and it is very dangerous, but you haven't yet acknowledged that danger (like Harry Potter in book 4). Also, you see that there are problems (like dead bodies under boats), but rather than doing something to fix them, you let others do stuff, while you just do what you're used to. I don't know who Henry is, so I can't help you there. Also, these are 'darker' thoughts, so it's nightime.
Then we have your sister. You love your sister, and are around her a lot, so of course she'll show up in your dreams. That you our flying up high in the glider signifies how happy you are when she is around. The lines signify something (or someone) that is holding you back mentally. It may be your parents, since it's at home. Or, it could be your worried that that house sitting lady will keep you from doing something, or it could be your dog (hence the leashes). Also, the bizarre exercise machine part reminds me of those unelectric treadmills in China.
Actually, I just realized that by glider, you may mean bench or something, because your families speech patterns are different than mine. The jewelry is meant to signify romantic interest, and you aren't sure why or if you have is, and, regardless, you want to get rid of it. The tackle-box shows that the jewelry came with friendship (fishing is outdoorsie, and you associate friendship with that sort of thing), and because you were able to give the jewelry back and keep the tackle-box, you have been able to maintain your friendship despite some initial awkwardness. However, it hasn't totally left your mind, hence the valentines. I'm a stand-in for you, here, where you think that any romantic intentions are a sign of desperation. Also, because Lysander is (ahem) unexperienced, his valentine is like that of a child. However, it's still interesting and unique (every page is different)
Us gossiping about guys is because that is what we do. We did it last week, and I'm sure it'll happen again. Guys are just so interesting to talk about. Did dream me have any good gossip?
I'd already told you about having first day of school dreams, and you probably do think about the first day of school a little bit (at least subconsciously). The not knowing which room appears to be a common theme, since I've had that too. And THAT'S MY PHYSICS CLASS. WHY DID YOUR DREAM SELF NOT JUST GO TO CLASS WITH ME???? You worried that your desire to be prompt and do well in school will interfere with your ability to be a good person. You also think you might miss a chance to help if you don't think it all the way through. I associate trains with the school year, but I don't know if you do. This also sounds a lot like the train in the third Harry Potter video game. You're jealous of Tawny and Benny, but in the end, you know Tawny, and you know it won't be problem.

love, tea

Nyx Had A Dream

It went as follows:

First, i was sailing, with a bunch of people. we were in Hunter 420s, which is what we use on sailing team, but it wasn't the sailing team people. It was starting to get dark and a boat capsized, and when they righted themselves one of the crew members was missing. We spent a lot of time looking around for him but couldn't find him. (At this point I was in a motorboat with someone but I'm not sure who it was. Definitely male though.) Then the girl who had been sailing with him began to sail back to the dock, and when she started moving I saw an arm underneath her boat, which turned out to be attached to the missing guy. Still not sure who he was, mighta been Henry. The guy I was with on the motorboat jumped in and got the body and carried it back onto the boat. Then we went back to the dock (not one I was familiar with) and derigged all the boats. I don't know what happened to the body. Nobody was really sad though, we were all just kind of not really sure what happened. I don't think the concept of the situation had hit us yet.
Next, I was sitting outside my house on the glider with Kiwi. It was day time again. A loop of line, which i think was a really long dog leash, was staked into the ground near the oak tree in the front yard. There were more lines attached to it, and the other ends of these lines were attached to my bike helmet. For some reason I felt it necessary to put on the helmet and try to walk, but of course I couldn't because the lines were taut when I stood up. I kept straining at the ropes, and it was like some bizarre exercise machine.
Then I heard someone say, "And this is Nyx, strapped into her own yard!" I turned and saw that it was Lysander, talking to to older men on the sidewalk across the street. I unstrapped myself and went back to sitting on the glider, and as I did so he walked over and came into the yard. I asked him if he wanted his jewelry (i think it was heirloom or something) back, though I'm not sure why I had it. He had given it to me in a tacklebox which was also on the glider, but it was all mixed in with my beads and jewelry making supplies. Kiwi and I helped me dig through it looking for the jewelry, but Lysander didn't seem to mind the wait. When we finally gave it to him he left and went back across the street, where a black convertible was waiting for him with someone (maybe his dad?) in the passenger seat.
Then I went to your house, and you had just received a valentine from Lysander, even though we knew Valentine's day was still a few days away. It was a booklet made of unevenly-stapled red and pink construction paper, written and drawn on with crayons like a kid would do. Each page had something different on it. One page said Love.
Wondering if Lysander actually liked you or if he was just desperate for a girlfriend, I wanted to go check my mailbox to see if he had slipped one in there when I wasn't looking. (This is very reminiscent of me wanting to check my cell phone.) But I decided that it would be better to wait until the morning. Then I slept over at your house with a bunch of other girls and we gossiped about guys all night.
The next day was the first day of school, and of course I had already gotten to school and it was already 7:25 by the time I figured that out. I had not checked my mailbox. I also did not know what rooms my classes were in, but I knew that I had physics period 1. (There was also a while that we spent in the library and something happened but I forget what it was. Then I lost track of you and realized I had to get to class). I raced to the elevator to take it to the third floor, because I was riding on a library cart. The doors shut and opened again and an old lady in a wheelchair tried to come in but couldn't fit because of my cart. As the elevator went up I had the fleeting realization that if I had moved the cart over there would have been room for her, but I was in too much of a hurry to care.
On the third floor, all of the walls were black. Actually, the third floor was more like a train, which happened to be moving. Each car held one or two classrooms, and I passed from car to car (through the annoying between-car spaces) trying to find someone in my class - I think it was you. Finally I found a class and asked Vicuna if it was physics honors, and he said yes so I went to find a seat. The lab tables and benches were arranged on each side of the train car and looked like diner booths. I couldn't find any cute guys to sit with, but finally I sat down with Anita and a blond girl whose face I recognized but whose name I don't know. Meanwhile, the windowless train was still trundling along - quite loudly, I might add.
I looked around to see if I knew anyone else, and saw Tawny in a booth diagonal from mine. She appeared to be sitting on Benny's lap. But then suddenly they were sitting next to each other instead and he morphed into a girl so that was okay. Then I woke up.

it was only after the dream was over that I realized that a certain spare-brainless lab partner was not in my class. neither was Richard.

please interpret?!

My interpretation will follow tomorrow.

100!

This is my hundredth blog post. To commemorate, I thought I'd share some highlights of the past 100 posts.

In February, I had my first emo-ish introspective semi-rant. As far as I know, nobody bothered to read it, because, at that point, I had no readers.

Until.....Catering, written a few days after my 16th birthday, when Vicky first became a regular reader, at the time, my only reader. My birthday also marked when I began posting daily. Soon thereafter, I got my permit and began terrorizing the roads. I was also terrorized by high schoolers who lacked physical contact boundaries.

Then, in May, two important events occurred. Firstly, Mario became a regular character, and Nyx and Gretchen joined the club, with Gretch even starting her own blog. I also shared both dirty jokes and nerdy jokes. We also discovered both the Debrahs and the Jillians of cyberspace. We also learned about tampons and my subconscious.

It has been, to say the least, a very eventful 100 posts.

NOW, just for kicks, I looked up 100 random questions. I'm going to post the questions here, then answer them in a comment.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing?

4. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

5. Without looking, guess what time it is

6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

9. Did you dream last night?

10. Do you remember your dreams?

11. When did you last laugh?

12. Do you remember why / at what?

13. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

14. Seen anything weird lately?

15. What do you think of this quiz?

16. What is the last film you saw?

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

18. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

19. Tell me something about you that most people don't know.

20. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

21. Do you like to dance?

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?

23. Does your name make any interesting anagrams?

24. Who made the last incoming call on your phone?

25. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

26. Last time you swam in a pool?

27. Type of music you like most?

28. Type of music you dislike most?

29. Are you listening to music right now?

30. What color is your bedroom carpet?

31. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?

32. What was the last thing you bought?

33. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?

34. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

35. Do you have a garden?

36. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

37. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

38. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?

39. Who sent the last text message you received?

40. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

41. What time is bed time?

42. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

43. How many tattoos do you have?

44. If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?

45. What did you do for your last birthday?

46. Do you carry a donor card?

47. Who was the last person you ate dinner with?

48. Is the glass half empty or half full?

49. What's the farthest-away place you've been?

50. When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

51. Have you ever won a trophy?

52. Are you a good cook?

53. Do you know how to pump your own gas?

54. If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

55. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?

56. Do you touch-type?

57. What's under your bed?

58. Do you believe in love at first sight?

59. Think fast, what do you like right now?

60. Where were you on Valentine's day?

61. What time do you get up?

62. What was the name of your first pet?

63. Who is the second to last person to call you?

64. Is there anything going on this weekend?

65. How are you feeling right now?

66. What do you think about the most?

67. What time do you get up in the morning?

68. If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?

69. Who would you tell first?

70. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?

71. Do you sing in the shower?

72. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

73. What do you do most when you are bored?

74. What do you do for a living?

75. Do you love your job?

76. What did you want to be when you grew up?

77. If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?

78. Which came first the chicken or the egg?

79. How many keys on your key ring?

80. Where would you retire to?

81. What kind of car do you drive?

82. What are your best physical features?

83. What are your best characteristics?

84. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?

85. What kind of books do you like to read?

86. Where would you want to retire to?

87. What is your favorite time of the day?

88. Where did you grow up?

89. How far away from your birthplace do you live now?

90. What are you reading now?

91. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

92. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

93. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?

94. Do you have pets?

95. How many rings before you answer the phone?

96. What is your best childhood memory?

97. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?

98. Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?

99. What is most important in life?

100. What Inspires You?

Feel free to participate.

Punchline

A brief English class transcript

Tea: Richard! You were in my dream this weekend!

Richard: I was?

Tea: Yeah, you were trying to kill me.

Richard: Oh. Well, dreams do come true sometimes.

Tea: *Laughs awkwardly.*

Richard: *walks away*

Tybalt (Bryant's twin): Ow!

Tea: Hahaha! Gemma, look, Dino hit Tybalt in the head with a book!

Tybalt: What was that for?

Dino: I missed

Tea: That was definitely an untethered projectile

Gemma: Haha, what?

Tea: ASR joke. There is no one from ASR in this class, so it wasn't really funny...

Gemma: Oh.

Mrs. Leon: Okay, we have cows, but they aren't our cows.

Tybalt: I told Dino that, but he didn't listen.

Dino (with computer on desk): Heh.

Caroline: Can I have a cow now?

Vampires and Zombies and Spaceships, oh my!

This is another dream, courtesy of Tea's twisted subconscious. Enjoy.

My sisters (Genie and Shelby) and Mario and Nyx and I started in this dark graveyard at night, using our magic powers to keep someone else from reaching the gravestone we are guarding. The graveyard itself was a cross between the one in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Goblet of Fire, so I suppose, in that context, these actions made sense.

Everyone else had normal magic powers, spell flinging and whatnot. I was a good vampire, and the vampires in this dream didn't drink blood; instead, when they were killed, they became a spirit that had to take over a dead body or a doll. Dead bodies could be possessed indefinitely, but dolls must be replaced after only a few days or hours, proportional to their size. So, when a spell was about to hit Shelby, I jumped in front of her, taking the hit. I dissolved, leaving behind a rotting corpse.

The others, unable to fight them off without me, went home. I followed them, trying to find a new body. I got back to my room and try to find a suitable replacement. I considered my Spring Pearl doll, but she was rather tiny and won't last for long, so I decided to use one of Genie's porcelain dolls instead. Even so, I would need a new corpse soon. While I was floating, I found my Spanish textbook and workbook, which had been missing.

I found Dad and Shelby on the front lawn of the house. There was a fairly large crowd assembled, angry about the vampires. I heard Shelby say something about Mario, and I panicked that she was telling everybody that I liked him, so I made Dad shut her up. However, I didn't want to tell an angry crowd that I was a vampire, so I went looking for Mario.

I needed to ask him to go back to the graveyard and find my a dead body, but by they time I found him, he was already in the mudroom, preparing to leave. Abruptly, I hugged him, because I was happy that he was going to find me a body, and because, in dreamworld, I was into him too. He was surprised for a second, but hugged me back. I gave him a look that attempted to communicate "I like you. Please don't die." He squeezed me and said, "I don't know," before letting go, although I don't know if he was referencing the liking or the dying.

I passed Dora on my way back to my bedroom. "I don't think I like these vampires," she informed me.

In my room, Nyx and my sisters were sitting around. I tried to tell Nyx about hugging Mario, but then I realized that my sisters were listening, and considering Shelby had been talking about it ten minutes before, I didn't want to give her more ammunition. Nyx told be that she hadn't slept for two days and needed a nap. I had been dead that morning, so sleep wasn't really that big of a deal, but I figured a nap couldn't hurt, so Nyx, Genie and I squeezed into my teeny tiny bed and went to sleep. Shelby was supposed to keep watch, but she soon dozed off as well.

That was when the villain chose to strike. I woke up to see Richard (the boy in Nyx's lab group with the twin cousins who harass Gretchen) standing in the doorway. He looked pretty much like Richard always does, only something about him appeared vaguely evil. I rushed towards him, trying to fight min off, but he glided right past me. I tried to take over his mind (which vampires can do to each other) but I'd never been very good at.

"Look at her, trying to attack me. Ha!" he said, and pushed back, making me into his automaton. He then made me stand still as he hit me with a spell, killing me again. The porcelain doll fell to the closet floor, cracked and dirtied, as my spirit dissipated.

Dad then came in, and Richard informed him that they will be spared and I returned if they'll do Richard a few small favors. Dad agreed, on the condition that he got me back right away, and Richard informs me that there are a few dead bodies out on the front lawn for exactly that purpose.

Richard wanted us to steal three electrophorysis trays from my church. When we got there, they were in the middle of Bridging ceremony, but it was the weirdest church event I'd ever seen. A girl wearing a buttload of makeup was standing in the front, wiping it off, layer by layer, using little round handiwipes. We decided to get the trays by pretending we were supposed to be fixing them, so my sisters and I walked up to the front and took them.

However, just as I was walking back, the woman holding the handiwipes intercepted me. "Hold these," she said, and I passed the machine to Genie and accepted the wipes. I went to put them between my knees for better holding purposes, only to realize abruptly that I was naked, and I then proceeded to pass out.

The next thing I knew, I was clothed and on a spaceship with a tall, thirty-something black guy wearing what was, for all intents and purposes, Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

"We have to complete a quest," he told me.

"What?"

"A quest to increase your powers. The quest of the moonfrogs."

"I was thoroughly confused, but there wasn't really much I could do about it. We came to the moon, which was shaped like one of Mars's moons, but with a hole drilled through the middle. On the outside, there were winds and floating moondust, and I became worried that they'd put me out there. Even if I couldn't die, it looked rather cold.

Instead, we flew inside the hole. We passed through a weird field, and, suddenly, I was in a store with Dad, Genie, and Shelby. We had to put the correct items into our cart in the correct order, without running out of time. I got into a fight with Genie over whether to pick cheerios or rice krispies, and then I woke up.

Anyone who can interpret this wins a gold star.

Sweet Dreams

This one is a swashbuckling adventure starring Mario and Tea. It was, to say the least, extremely exciting.

So, my family and I were on vacation at this gorgeous hotel in northern New England. It was a standard Victorian style, fairly old, but in perfect repair. I was walking in the back with my Dad my dog, around a pond and some trees, when poor Rufus (I don't really think puppies need code names) was hit in the head with a football, producing a big purple bruise on his nose. Dad, overprotective parent that he is, started yelling at whomever had thrown it that Rufus had a tumor in his nose, and the football was going to cause serious problems, blah blah blah, which seemed utterly ridiculous to me, but nevertheless Dad picked up Rufus and took him inside.

Then, Mario came running over, apologizing profusely. I, suave woman that I am, took a step towards him and tripped, catching myself on his arm. Taking my clumsiness as distress over my horribly injured dog, he attempted to comfort me. I believe my thought process at the time was that I didn't need the comfort, but if I could cling to his arm for a while longer, I certainly wasn't going to complain.

So, Mario and I walked back into the house and headed towards my room. On the way, we passed my mother and aunt, who were feverishly discussing something in the kitchen. They told us that people had been stealing stuff, so to hide our valuables. I went up the stairs to my room, and Mario took off to some other floor, where his was presumably located. There, I stashed my money under my mattress and tried to think of somewhere to put my guitar. I took it out to the hallway, still searching, and saw Steven, Amelia's friend who had done Castles in the Sand with us on Saturday.

"Steven!" I said. "You need to hide my guitar!"

"Okay, whatever," he replied, his typical response.

Then, I went looking for Mario again, but couldn't find him until I heard some loud noises outside the window.

There was scaffolding running up the side of the house, and on it, Mario was fighting, swords and all, with Smee from Captain Hook.

Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

Interpretations, please?